Saving things....the family business

"Bloodlust"

"Metamorphosis"

Collective thoughts over the episodes regarding Sam's potential decent into darkness. Or, honestly, I know there's a way to make this into a logically connected post. I think it was after reading that there are two episodes in which Dean punches Sam that I became interested in the connections between those episodes: Bloodlust and Metamorphosis. What was the purpose in the punch and was it received the same way?

I think it was all about Dean's frustrations with not being able to see Sam's point of view. They think differently, and Dean wants Sam to always see it his way. And when Sam doesn't, Dean secretly fears this is a part of Sam not wanting him, not needing him, potentially abandoning him. I mean, in "Bloodlust" Sam was: "No, we can't listen to Gordon, we can't do this or that." And in "Metamorphosis": Dean was the one saying. "why do you need me to help you hunt demons, you have Ruby". Either way, Dean was afraid Sam wouldn't need him.

Push push push Dean! You'll be the one sending Sammy down the dark path!

Dean tells him if it’s supernatural, they kill it, it’s their job. Sam says no, they’re job is hunting evil, and these things aren’t evil. It takes Dean much longer to come around to this way of thinking. But by "Sin City" he's starting to be more accepting of differing POV. Is this because Sam recognizes the supernatural in himself?

"Playthings" 2.11

"Dean, promise me..."

"Heart" 2.17

"I will do this, because she asked me to, and when the time comes,
you must be strong and do the same for me."

"Heart" 2.17
"Why can't there be a choice?" That's what you're thinking, but by season four Dean, you've changed your tune back to early season two's 'supernatural we hunt it....' DEAN! You're not Gordon! Stay sane!!!

THE JUDGEMENT FACES:

"Bloodlust"

"It hurts me to see you so angry and cold."

"Metamorphosis" 4.04

"If I didn't know you, I'd hunt you!"

THE REACTINS TO THE JUDGEMENT:

"Metamorphosis" 4.04

"That means, God doesn't like what you're doing."

"Dean, you actually enjoyed killing." [I don't think God approves]

Dean! You came back from the dead! You ARE a supernatural being! Stop listening to others (listening to Gordon was dumb and you learned that) and listen to your heart. You've always known what's best for Sam. You'd know if he were evil.

Search your feelings! You know this to be true!

And you know Dean, that there is plenty of good in him.

My Brain Hurts!

After viewing the latest Supernatural episode a few days ago I've been making my usual round of reading posts and opinions. And now my brain hurts! While the first 4 shows have helped answer many questions, they've created more.

Now we know Sam's got evil inside him. Okay, but what exactly does that mean? Is he the anti-Christ? Lucifer's vessel? Stronger than Lucifer? Can he overcome it?

We know he has powers: so are the powers inherently evil? WAs he born with them? What exactly did the blood feeding do? Was Gordon rigth? Why did Gordon decide he was not just a monster, but the anti-Christ? Is it better to use powers that are humane, even if they are demon given? What has Ruby taught?

Sam's honesty: Sure Sam shared a bunch with big bro', but what's he still hiding? What other nifty powers can he use? If Ruby was gone for part of the four months, what was Sammy up to besides drinking heavily.

The Bromance: Holy God, the bromance is even more stoked this season!!!! Just kiss each other...all right! These two are so frikin co-dependent it's crazy! Dean's fear of abdonment and Sam's need for approval. OMG! Will Dean's overbearing big bor' routine drive Sammy away as it did briefly in "Scarecrow"? Sam's used to making his own decisions and deciding on the hunts (notice it was Travis calling in Sam's help in "Metamorphosis" and Dean agreeing to go where Sam directed. Will we get more of "you're bossy...and short" this season?

That pain in the ass angel! Will Cass plant ideas into Dean's head or offer him "choices" that have no good options. "I can send you back to hell." kinda makes you a little more obedient. Of course that reminds me of Ruby's likely fear that Sam will send her back to hell. So we have two lap dogs for the opposition. Yeh...just great.

See why my brain hurts?

Eternal Sabbath

So this is Akiba-kun or Shuro from the manga Eternal Sabbath by Fuyumi Soryo. I happened upon this manga while searching online and I was instantly drawn in by both the detailed artwork and the story line.

I've included Akiba here because he fits in with the theme of the tortured soul who has little control over circumstances of his life.

Akiba was a genetic experiment, "grown" in a lab and subjected to scientific tests and upbringing. He had no family and no one he could trust, and yet, he remained a good person.

Akiba's genetic manipulation gave him some powers. He can read minds, and also alter thoughts. He is more durable and self healing than the common human and is capable of living to 200. Being able to read thoughts makes him have skewed social skills because he doesn't have to wonder what others think and go about the typical route of learning about people. Until he meets Mine, a scientist whose mind he can not read.

The nemesis in this tale is Isaac, the clone of Akiba, and one who has embraced evil. In Akiba we have one path, and in Isaac the other. This is a moral tale, a love story, and a tragedy.

It's an adult manga, not dirty, but not for kids either.

4.o3 "In the Beginning"

This was truly a show of heartbreak. Allow me to begin:

Well, Mary made a deal. Castiel says the D word (Destiny) and we find out why Dean has no grandparents.

Slowing down…Dean learns Mary is a hunter from a hunter family. John, is a civilian, “about the farthest thing from a hunter.” Mary tells Dean.

Castiel tells Dean you have to stop it. Dean doesn’t know what at first, but eventually deducts that he needs to stop Mary from making a deal. He’s too late! Castiel whisks him back to the future and tells him that he couldn’t have stopped it anyways, it was destiny that the demon would feed Sam his blood, but what Castiel doesn’t know is for what endgame…for what purpose.

We learn that Azazel was “cultivating” potential psychic kids by gaining the permission of the parent in a ten year deal. He apparently was creating many of these deals so he could find the best one. He sniffs at Mary and is very turned on by her sent. It seems all demons can smell souls, for later on he smells Dean to see if he is the psychic kid, he can tell Dean is not. Which brings to mind the demon waitress saying she could smell Sam’s soul.

I may have to concede that Sam wasn’t born with powers. The episode wasn’t clear. Azazel said he was creating the deals to later create psychic kids, so it’s hard to say if it was the blood baptism that granted powers or not. We’ll still have to wait on that.

What we do know is Mary did not have powers. But her soul had a certain appeal to it.

Now Dean knows what happened November 2, 1983. He doesn’t even know that Sam is privy to this info.

And we all know why Mary said, “I’m sorry” to Sam way back in season one. Ah, Kripke! You’ve planned it out so well.

I don’t think Sam’s name is spoken in the entire episode with the exception of Dean saying: “Sam, wherever you are, Mom’s a babe.” In the scene with Azazel, Dean doesn’t speak Sam’s name and Azazel just says, “you have a brother?” Later, in the hotel room Castiel glances at Sam’s empty bed, Dean’s eyes follow and they talk of Sam without saying his name.

And of course we now know when the Impala came into John Winchester’s life! And yes, the girl got more screen time than Sammy who was conspicuously missing from the bookends of the episode. I didn’t notice his absence during the back to the Future trip. The time in the past and my curiosity over how much would be revealed made it speed by even faster than the premiere! And I know my favorite damned character will be back, but if I think too hard on it I do feel a little empty without Sam, a little less complete.

Finally, despite his physical presence, this episode was all about Sam. It was how evil came into his life (via his mother’s desperate deal), how hunting destroyed the gentle nature of John Winchester in a way Vietnam even didn’t, pulling both boys into the hunting life their mother wanted so badly to escape; how Azazel’s actions were not to be prevented, and how prophetic John’s words to Dean were, echoed by Castiel.

“Your brother is headed down a dangerous road. So stop it. Or we will.”

Oh Castiel....so that's what you met by you have to stop it? And the show ends with TBC. Oh, thanks a lot.

The waiting is the hardest part!

Dumb Speculation

I suck at Speculation! Suck, I tell ya. But I'm gonna do it any ways....


Somehow, Mary's family made a mistake, a mistake that could destroy Sam. It's said that the actions are heartbreaking. All I can think is that Mary's family could only guarantee the safety of one child. Maybe Mary and John tried to only have one kid, so he'd be safe, but Sam came along anyway. And Mary was sorry, because only one boy could be under the angels' protection.


But why would that crap happen?


Tomorrow I get the feeling we might find out.


Until then I can only speculate that Mary's dad maybe made a deal with a demon (why?) that lasted 10 years. It's 1973 in the episode and Sam was born in 1983. We know the demon grabs Mary, but why? Can Mary see angels in their true form?


I also get the feeling that John was a normal guy caught up in Mary's crazy world, could there be more to why he isn't good enough for Mary? Could she have Sam's powers?


I still think psychic kids are born with gifts. I think the demon interferred or tried to take control with the blood baptism.


I think no matter what the story is Dean and Sam (but Dean especially) will say Fuck Destiny! He's my brother. I'm praying that love wins and saves the day as it has in some of my favorite stories: A Wrinkle in Time and Star Wars.

So...will it be the Highway to Heaven?

or..the Highway to Hell

4.02 Are you there God?

Dean...oh, Dean. When will you believe? Castiel has his work cut out for him in influencing Dean. Of course, threatening him with Hell might help his argument! Geez, so much for Mr. Nice angel!

What an episode. A little slower than the debut, but it's sort of hard to top a resurection from the dead. This week I was a little surprised Dean did tell Bobby and Sam about Castiel. I was not surprised, but I was very very happy and relieved, that Sam still has his faith. It was good to hear Sam’s lines about being relieved the good guys were out there and not just demons. He was so happy Dean was “touched by an angel”. Hopefully this shows he has not turned to the darkside. I think when he said he was not afraid of angels he was stating why should he fear them, he isn’t a demon or a bad guy. I have a hard time believing that the demon blood he received as a baby made him part demon. But we just might find out the truth this season.

Jim Beaver’s delivery of Bobby was the best I’d ever seen. The pained look he gives when Dean says why does God care about me said so much. And how rattled he was to see the mauled hunter, and later how the girls disturbed him, shows he has a lot of depth and compassion. Then there was the panic room! I was shouting at the TV…”Bobby is so awesome.” And seconds later Dean delivered his “Bobby you’re awesome!” line. LOL.

The words from Henrickson and Meg were filled with a lot of meaning. I took it that what they said was really the inner thoughts of Dean, Bobby, and Sam. Like they were yelling at themselves for failing those people.

Castiel’s appearance was strong and we learn he’s “no Michael Landon”. Dean was horribly disrespectful to a being who pulled him from hell, but then Dean’s never been too good at saying thank you.

And it’s really the end of the world? Wow, I have no idea how that will be written. But I have full faith, that whatever happens, the writers will deliver an incredible show.

Welcome to the Black Parade

Welcome to the Black Parade

When I was a young boy,My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said, "Son when you grow up,would you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?"
He said "Will you defeat them,your demons, and all the non believers, the plans that they have made?"
Because one day I'll leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join the black parade."

Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me.
And other times I feel like I should go.
And through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.
When you're gone we want you all to know.
We'll carry on,
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And in my heart I can't contain it
The anthem won't explain it.

A woman sends you reeling from decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all.
So paint it black and take it back
Lets shout it loud and clear
Defiant to the end
We hear the call
Do or die
You'll never make me
Because the world, will never take my heart
You can try, you'll never break me
You want it all, you wanna play this part
I won't explain or say I'm sorry
I'm unashamed, I
'm gonna show my scar

Give a cheer, for all the broken
Listen here, because it's only you
I'm just a man,
I'm not a hero
I'm just a boy, who's meant to sing this song
I'm just a man,
I'm not a hero
I -- don't – care


This is a pretty cool sounding song! I thought the lyrics were written just for Dean! Sometimes a group really fits the fandom mood. I know that Muse is all about Edward and Bella! Maybe My Chemical Romance has lyrics that fit the Winchesters?

My favorite here was the father teaching the son, and then dying. The son saying he will carry on and fight: be the “saviour of the broken and the damned.”

And “this world will never take my heart.” What is it with Dean and his heart?

Top 20 Episodes from Seasons 1-3

This is just a start. I listed these this morning, but haven't finalized the ranking yet, nor do I have the energy to defend my choices yet. Too tired, but here they are...somewhat in order.

20. Nightmare
19. Home
18. Scarecrow
17. Shadow
16. Nightshifter
15. Sin City
14. Malleua Maleficarum
13. Pilot
12. Something Wicked
11. Supernatural X-mas
10. Fresh Blood
9. Born Under a Bad Sign
8. Heart
7. Croatoan/Hunted
6. Faith
5. What is and Never Should Be
4. Dream a Little Dream
3. Jus in Bello
2. Salvation/Devil's Trap/IMTOD
1. All Hell Breaks Loose 1 & 2

Fangasm Reaction to Season 4 Episode 1

Holy shit OMFG! Sorry for the blasphemy, but that’s my reaction to the season opener of Supernatural. I lay on my couch holding my blanket for dear life as the first 15 minutes played out commercial free. WOW! This episode had so many little teasers all over the place setting the entire season up for one big ride.

The summary and the reactions:

OK, so we knew Dean would be back. But his agonizing digging yourself free from the grave (Sam must of buried him shallow) and his weak parched voice…[oh Dean, we’ll save you]. Very heartbreaking. His body as he walked down that road and later when he pulled his shirt up to inspect the damages….HOT! We already played the incredible Bobby reunion [like at least 10 times on youtube, you know it!]. Then they track down Sam….the alias? Wedge Antilles! LOL. Then Dean says, “you just have to know him [Sam].” Yep SW geek.

Sam’s found in a motel room after having cheap sex with a woman he doesn’t know. His body looks like a brick wall coming at Dean when he first saw Dean and was poised to attack. His move on Dean was so fierce it’s a wonder Bobby was able to stop him. Apparently Jared (and Jensen…see above) have spent more time at the gym over the last few months. Then they hugged and Sam didn’t cry! But Bobby was all misty eyed for the two of them. Yeh, you read that riht! Mr. Emo himself did not cry.

They go to a psychic…Poor Pamela Barnes…silly girl, you can’t “see” the true face of “God” and she lost her eyes in the process. This and the pure loud noise Dean hears let’s us know that Castiel is packing some power.

Next, the boys go for pie. Hasn’t Dean learned by now that pie is the root of all evil? There’s demons at that diner! But they’re small fry, little threat, and the one keeps looking at Sam and he at her like they’re talking telepathically. Just suspicious looking that’s all I’m saying. Dean gets all up in her face and she backs down, he thinks he spooked her with his bravado, and later he all but confesses to Sam that he was scared it wouldn’t work, and I was suspecting he’d be tossed into a wall. But no…they leave peacefully. So I gotta wonder, was she actually afraid of Sam? Has he grown a rep as a demon dispatcher!?! Course, Dean wouldn’t know this cause Sam says he’s not using the powers.

The discussion scenes in the car are held as both men are in shadows. I think they’re both keeping secrets, but I think Dean isn’t aware of his entirely yet. It was good not to see him break apart. He was confused, but he was Dean. Sam was aloof, cold, definitely not the emo boy we know and love and I don’t think there was one instance of him giving the puppy eyes.

Later the brothers part after Sam sneaks out of the hotel room. They aren’t back together again for the rest of the episode. Bobby returns and hooks up with Dean. They head somewhere to summon the “whatever” who sprang him from hell. Meanwhile, Sam goes back to the diner, presumably to kill the demons with the demon knife, but WAIT! The knife was left at the hotel room…..something’s up.

And that’s when we get what we’ve been waiting for:

Sam kills demons with his bare hands by doing some funky psychic mojo thing. Just raises his hand and the demon smoke rises out of the body and is gone. Ruby is alive and well in a new body and apparently Sam’s tutor. And he isn’t just exorcising anymore…he sends the demons all the way back to hell, or perhaps he vapes them completely, not sure, but often his work kills the human host. And he’s been doing this for months.

Sam lied! “Haven’t seen Ruby, don’t know what happened to her.” Yep…not surprised there. He looked uncomfortable the whole time he was telling about his time alone to Dean. And Ruby wonders how Dean will feel when he finds out. And although Sam doesn’t seem to trust Ruby, he’s much more buddy-buddy with her now that Dean isn’t there to stop him. Clearly Dean has been his grounding force and his buffer.

So finally we meet Castiel. Wow……he says he’s an angel. And I go back to “Houses of the Holy.” “Mom always said there were angels watching over me.” What did Mary Winchester know? Or, what did she do that set these events in motion? [Fuel for a speculation post by me…later]

Castiel tells Dean he thought Dean would have been one of the special ones who could actually see his true form, but he was not. Castiel claims he is an angel of the Lord. “God sent me. We have work to do.” And that’s where our episode ends.

There is symbolism in Dean and Sam not being in the same scenes towards the end of the episode. One is talking with a demon, the other with an angel. But what are the demons trying to accomplish via Sam? Why does Ruby want Sam so darn powerful? And geez, why will she kill other demons? Then Castiel? He’s more like the angels in “Dogma” than any angel of puffy cloud kindness. He’s scary! But he’s no demon. Dean full on stabbed him with the demon knife 9in the heart no less).

So when did Dean become the target for a plan of destiny? Sam’s been marked since 6 months or younger (cause we don’t know the back story there), but when did Dean become the chosen one too?

So many questions! Absolutely on target episode for kicking off the season!!!!!!!!!

One More Day!

One more day until I get to watch the season premiere of Supernatural Season 4! YAY! I can't wait to find out what happed to make the candle go all glowy there in that picture of "mature" looking Sam. Can't wait to see their reunion! OMG SQEEEEEE!!! Fangrl me all the way! LOL !!!!!

I figured out why Season 3 is flatter for me:

Season One we learned about the brothers as they got to know each other again. We learned with them about all manner of supernatural beings, and we always felt the pressing need to find Daddy Win and the YED! The pace wasn't as fast as season two, but it had it's moments of urgency.

Season Two was more urgent. We lost Daddy Win and gained Bobby. We were always searching...this time for answers to the pressing "Is Sam evil question?" and his imfamous destiny....all while Dean wallowed in his "I'm not worthy" guilt. The tension built beautifully to the end and supernatural was abundant.

Season Three began one week later and their just wasn't OMG...Dean's going to Hell what can I do urgency. Just wasn't there. sure Sam had a few moments like in episode two where he and Bobby were on the phone discussing options behind Dean's back....sure Ruby made her demonic little promises, but there was nothing to be done. so instead of urgency, we got acceptance. Makes me think of the reaper in a way and how she told Dean to just see it all as fate.

Well Season 4 sure seems to have a lot of energy from what I've tried to sneak a peak at. I thik there will be tension in wondering if Dean's trip up top is just temporary [better not be..he is too good for hell] or if Sam made any assinine deals in Dean's absence. And they better deliever on the Mary story line mystery. We all want to know.

Ahhhh, the waiting is the hardest part!

Fantastic Art Work by Xanseviera

You have to go to deviantart.com to check out the work of artist "Xanseviera". She is incredible. She draws Sam and Dean in manga form (and yes, sometimes chibi). While her work isn't an exact replica of their faces, she captures their emotions and is utterly consistant over time and topic with how she designs the "boys". You can feel the love! I can't even imagine her talent!!!!! There's a lot of beautiful work on that site in total. I highly recommend perusal!

http://xanseviera.deviantart.com/gallery/#Supernatural-galore


That should get you started at her gallery! Enjoy! Below is just one cute little "puppy dog eyes" moment by her:

And below is her drawing of more serious faces:

Thoughts on Jus in Bello

Supernatural is a show that is full of moral ambiguity. Jus in Bello is one example of questioning what is right, and do the ends justify the means. Seemingly just an episode about the brothers getting shafted by Bela, Victor Hendrickson getting his revenge, and more demon fighting. To believe that, is not enough. Sure the outer focus is there driving the plot, but floating on the surface begging to be examined, are the greater moral questions. And that’s what lifts Supernatural to another level. It makes the viewer think.

Jus in Bello was also a contrast between the human point of view and the demon’s. Humans preserve life, demons don’t. Demons “strike fast and leave no survivors.” Humans try to minimize death and destruction even to the enemy, and humans see an enormous distinction between civilians and combatants. The demon point of view is painfully apparent when Ruby enters the station. We have, by this point in the episode, the human perspective, played out by newly formed comrades Dean and Victor, versus the demonic perspective (sorry Sammy), played out by Ruby and silently acquiesced by Sam.

Watch how little Sam actually says. His silence speaks volumes. When Ruby enters and offers to make a virgin sacrifice, both Dean and Victor are very vocally opposed while Sam stands silently.
And who does Ruby look to? Sam , of course! And how does Sam respond? With a face that states, sometimes you need to sacrifice one to save many. Then Dean makes this face that says: “How dare you even think about thinking about her plan?” Dean can break Sam away from his dark thoughts, and he does here, but not so easily.

And that’s the scary facts. Sam (Ruby’s little protégé) was willing to follow the demon path to fighting war, and would have if Dean didn’t step in and force him to reason. Sam may have agreed with Dean physically, but I seriously doubt he wanted to follow Dean’s plan, it’s just Dean said so, and so I will.

Ruby leaves in a huff spouting something about Sam not being the leader she bet on and Sam looks after her sadly. Apparently he hates to disappoint his teachers/mentors. Hmmm?

So the demons enter and Dean and Victor go at it with rock salt rounds like two determined hunters, and what does Sammy do to dispatch demons? He mostly uses his gun to bludgeon them, and his bare fists. Clearly Sam is a nasty force to reckon with.

This episodes shocking ending and Ruby’s pissed tantrum throw the moral question right in our faces. Decisions made in war are never easy, but combatants (and supernatural hunters) must never forget their humanity. To do so, places them at risk of being at the rank of a demon.

Why Season 3 is just kinda not great

Don't get me wrong. Season 3 had some really good episodes, but I think where it falls flat for me is that I don't see it full steam ahead with the character development we came to expect in the first 44 shows. [Do the math: that's like 29 hours of character development]

OK, so what do we have: We've Dean at first on some half-manic suicide mission level.

Understandable, what else can he do? Sure he'll kill the evil sons o'bitches on his way out, but he'll go down with a smile on his face. This is typical Dean and he's probably the truest to form in this season especially as he grows nearer his death and admits to himself and Sam tht he is scared and he doesn't deserve to go to Hell.

Then there's Bobby, we all love Bobby cause he's a hell of alot more father than we ever saw John be...ok, that's harsh. But other than John giving his soul for his son (which made us realize he really was an outstanding man after all) we thought he was piss poor. Come on! When Sam called him in Faith he never answered, Dean might have died and his father wouldn't have known for months. But Bobby! Call him and he's just an hour out. He'll fix your car, your gun, he'll exorcise your demons...good ol' reliable Bobby.

But Sam! Sammy!!!!!! WTF! Your the Anti-Christ Superstar...the Chosen one...the last man standing....your brother's going to hell and you what? Use all those cool powers to save him? What? They disappeared! You're all normal again and back to being choked like in season one.

Oh that's just great. Just when Dean needs you...you bail! It's like Luke went to Dagobah, learned all about the Force, but when he got spooked in the cave he wouldn't touch the Force again. So when Han was about to die...he could do nothing. (Oh, wait! That kinda did happen).

Yesterday, I started an article on Sam's grief and I wrote about Seaon 3 being "Denial". Yes, Sam is denying the abilities he has because the demon is dead. Ugh! It's like that whole arc died. I know Kripke has a plan, but still, this was a disappointment for me. I know Sam slowly stepped up to the plate and there were a few moments (notibly Gordon's decapitation) which made it seem like Sam was changing, but all in all he was the same puppy who couldn't do a damn thing for big bro. Ruby finally tells Sam (and us) that he let his powers grow dormant. Then he beats Lillith at her powers and leaves us hanging for season 4.

The biggest plot drop and likely victim of the writers' strike had to be Mary's secret. In episode 2 Sam investigates the deaths of family memebers and friends. We never learn why the YED would want to systematically wipe them all out. Were they protecting Sam? Would there existance let Sam know he had no demonic destiny? Hopefully seaon 4 will answer these things, but I think that more would have been said if there were the 6 more episodes that were suppose to be there.

And box set with it's 5 discs was sad. Just 5 discs! Yet, with Dean in Hell [Han Solo in carbonite] and Lillith on the loose one can't but parallel that we are at the end of the Empire Strikes Back part of the Journey. And we must be patient.....and stand firm as we roll into some dark times before the dawn (or something like that).

May Season 4 blow us out of the water!

Sam and the Stages of Grief

WORK in Progress.............................................. !!!!!

There are five basic stages of grief which need not come in any particular order and may over lap each other. There is also no specific timeline for grief to play out as all people are different. I propose here that one of the many forces of Supernatural is the burden of grief. All the Winchesters carry this burden and handle it in their own “special” ways, but I’ll focus on Sam Winchester and the first three seasons of the show.

During Season One Sam is mourning on many levels. His primary grief is the loss of his girlfriend Jessica. The fact that her death was caused by the YED who killed her in the same manner as his mother has brought back his grief over never having a mother, which in turn reminds him of his sadness over never having a normal childhood. Jessica’s death rips him from the comfortable and safe world he created for himself at Stanford.

Each season Sam’s grief is written with depth and complexity, but within each season there is usually one primary stage demonstrated:

Season One: Depression

Season Two: Bargaining

Season Three: Denial

Season Four: Anger?

Season Five: Acceptance?

Bargaining seems to be the predominant theme of season 2.

Hunted [2.10]:

SAM: "We've just got to figure out what's going on, then, what the hell all this means. "*

DEAN "We do? I've been thinking about this, I think we should just lay low. You know? At least for a while. It'd be safer. And that way I can make sure —"

SAM: "What? That I don't turn evil? That I don't turn into some kind of killer?"

***That’s Sam, the logical one, needing to reason out what his brother just told him.

But there are also signs of acceptance into the life of hunting:

SAM I'm not just gonna ditch the job.

DEAN Screw the job. Screw it, man, I'm sick of the job anyway. I mean, we don't get paid, we don't get thanked. The only thing we get is bad luck.

SAM Well, come on, dude, you're a hunter. I mean, it's what you were meant to do.

DEAN Oh, I wasn't meant to do anything, I don't believe in that destiny crap.

SAM You mean you don't believe in my destiny.

DEAN Yeah, whatever.

SAM Look, Dean, I've tried running before. I mean, I ran all the way to California and look what happened. You can't run from this. And you can't protect me.

DEAN I can try.

SAM Thanks for that.Look, Dean, I'm gonna keep hunting. I mean, whatever is coming, I'm taking it head-on; so if you really want to watch my back, then I guess you're gonna have to stick around.


Playthings[2.11]: Sam to Dean after Dean questions his eagerness to go off on their next hunt: “We've got to save as many people as we can.”

Enter drunk!Sam:

SAM That guy who hung himself. I couldn't save him.

DEAN What are you talking about? You didn't know, you couldn't have done anything.

SAM That's an excuse, Dean. I should have found a way to save him. I should have saved Ava too.

DEAN Yeah, well, you can't save everyone, even you said that.

SAM No, Dean, you don't understand, all right? The more people I save, the more I can change!

DEAN Change what?

SAM My destiny, Dean!

OK, cosmic karma points galore! Save a person; win 2 free years to not burn in hell or be bothered by YED who want you to lead demonic armies, etc…..THAT’S BARGAINING SAMMY! BTW, he does manage to save both the mother and the little girl in this episode.

Save score: Sam=2, Dean=0

Houses of the Holy[2.13]: Sam is looking for salvation. He’s convinced the YED wants him for his side and though Sam plans to go out fighting he is still worried his destiny will overtake him. Sam is chosen by the ghost priest for being one in need of saving and by doing an act of penance (which is to “smite the wicked” in the ghost’s pov) he will find grace. This hits Sam to the core. Here he can do God’s will and by doing so find grace in God’s presence.

Denial is present throughout season three in the words of Sam to Dean: “I’ll find a way to save you. I’m not letting you go to Hell.” Stated in various ways, or understated in action. Yet, probably the only thing that could save Dean might be (but this is untested) Sam using his powers to change the outcome (and later in the season to use them to kill Lillith). But in order to use these powers to save Dean Sam would have to not be in denial that he even has them in the first place. And he is denying anything supernatural for its connection to the demon and the potential he fears.

In Mystery Spot the trickster reminds Sam that Dean's death is inevitable and gives him over 100 differerent death scenarios to truly help him understand it. Yet, it isn't until he finally prevents Sam from waking from the nightmare that Sam has to come to terms with his life without Dean, and even THEN, Sam is willing to do anything (yep, even killing the innocent) to get Dean back.

Sam can’t admit he is helpless to save Dean and let’s himself believe Ruby’s false promises to help him. Even to the last hour Sam insists, even when a very frightened but stoic Dean reminds him what the facts are.

Thoughts After Viewing Houses of the Holy

I've only seen this episode twice, which in the obsessed universe of SN is not very often, but today I watched it with Dean in mind, especially knowing how season four begins. Here is a link to a meta on faith as seen in Sam. It's worded much better than I could ever do and so it's better to focus on that coherence. http://dodger-winslow.livejournal.com/70009.html

So Dean...the seemingly non believer....how does that play out in a show about a ghost who thinks he's an avenging angel? It means Dean just has to work harder to make the spiritual fit into his rather practical beliefs: "I believe in what I've seen." Says Dean to Sam. Sam gives good arguement here that they have seen things that other people don't believe are real, so why couldn't there be angels.

But sorry Sammy, your lawyer mind tricks don't work on big brother, he ain't buying it. Your spiritual logic of yin and yang isn't changing his practical nature. This is quite reminesent of Han Solo saying there's no mystical energy field that controls his destiny. Yep, pure Han, pure Dean. Of course Han started to see proof Luke wasn't just filled with delusions of grandeur and eventually he did believe. Even at the end of this episode Dean is starting to wonder after he saw divine justice or the cosmic hand of God snuff out the baddie he was chasing.

OK, so what about season four? Something mystical is going to bring back from Hell and what it is remains to be seen, but I bet it might just alter Dean's perceptions a little bit more. After all, if he sees it, he might have to accept it as real.

Sam Winchester: Powers of Light or Powers of Darkness?

Sam never realized or experienced his powers until he was 22. They first came to him in the form of a nightmare that he didn’t heed. But then, why should he have considered it precognition to dream of his girlfriend dying in the same manner his mother had. Though he never saw his mother’s death, I’m sure the stories he heard from his father and Dean were vivid enough to give him nightmares as a child and teen. So he likely just thought he was transferring that horror to Jessica.

Then it happened just as he dreamt it, and though Sam doesn’t share this with Dean, you know it had to be driving him mad inside. Knowing he saw what would happen and did nothing to prevent it. But at the time, how would he have believed himself? He wouldn’t have, but this is Sam and I am sure he was packing plenty of guilt.

"Bloody Mary" is the first episode that shows Sam's potential abilities, but it is only hinted at that Sam had the psychic dream (it’s the secret he tells Dean he is carrying but refuses to share). His mirror image calls him out on it and states: “It’s your fault, you killed Jessica. You never told her the truth. Who you really were. But it’s more than that isn’t it. Those nightmares you’ve been having of Jessica dying, screaming, burning. You had them for days before she die. You were so desperate to be normal, to believe they were just dreams. How could you ignore them like that?”

That’s his inner guilt talking.

But the dreams didn’t go away. We see them manifest in “Home” when he dreams of the tree in front of their old house-an image he couldn’t possibly remember. And he is forced to tell Dean so Dean will take this as a “job”.

Sammy confesses: “I have these nightmares…and sometimes they come true.”

To which Dean replies [as only Dean could]: “First you tell me that you got the shining…and then you tell me that I got to go back home.”

When they meet Missouri and she touches Sam, you just know there will be a connection. She’s reading power off him in waves. And the look on his face tells you he isn’t all that surprised another psychic would pick up his vibe.

After they first negate the poltergeist, Missouri feels it is over, but Sam hesitates. His face reads like he still feels a presence though he simply says: “It’s nothing.” Sam is still in denial of his abilities, his new mission as a hunter, his journey. Being still powered by hunter’s instinct Dean and Sam wait outside and once there’s trouble rush back in to find the poltergeist back.

The flaming ghost approaches Sam and he recognizes that it’s his mother. She says so little here, just looks at them with love. But she does say: “I’m sorry.” to Sam (which I could speculate on all day), but this is about Sam’s powers, not the destiny thingy. After Mary truly negates the poltergeist, Sam can feel that the trouble is gone. Missouri can’t answer Sam as to what is happening to him. But later she says to John: “ That boy, he has such powerful abilities, why he couldn’t sense his own father, I have no idea.”

And so we are officially off into the realm of possibilities. Our hero, just discovered he could use the Force so to speak. So what did Sam think of it at that point? He hadn’t yet heard the YED say he had plans for him….which I think made Sam connect his abilities with evil.

Evidence points to Sam thinking the special abilities are only one sided: evil. They are a “gift” of the YED. That’s why, in season three, he states the visions are all gone now that the demon is dead. Is this Sam’s way of attempting to reconnect to the normal or is it just a cop out (or more annoying denial)?

But before the YED states this what does Sam think? It took him 6 months to share his secret with Dean, whom he trusts with his life. Sammy doesn’t like being different, doesn’t want to be the freak. After all, these guys hunt the strange, and Sam doesn’t want to be among them. He even differentiates this to Dean:

“We hunt evil, not all supernatural things are evil.” [Paraphrased by me]

So I think initially Sam thought his abilities were a fluke, weird, uncomfortable. They confused him (witness him asking Missouri why he had them) and he’d like answers. But he doesn’t see them as harmful, especially in light of watching sweet Missouri use her psychic abilities so judiciously.

When the visions finally lead him to Max in “Nightmare” he identifies with Max and tries to help him. But, he also learns that Max uses his telekinesis for revenge. That the abilities can easily be misused especially if the person has been abused as Max was.

Sam’s visions are now happening during the day and seem stress triggered. They seem to be the natural gift he possesses, but once he realizes his inability to act will result in Dean’s death he pushes out with his mind and moves the china cabinet. This is Sam’s only use of TK in season one through three (though he tried hard to use it in Devil’s Trap~to no avail). Is this because he now knows that TK exists that he knows he might be able to do it? Still, at this point he won’t consider it to be a demonic power since he still hasn’t met up with YED.

Sam’s powers save the life of baby Rosie and her family in “Salvation”. Here, Sam may not think he is in control of them, yet he heeds them and follows the clues they provide him with. He’s having the visions as he walks to that neighborhood. Subconsciously he is tapping into the strength as the pressure of saving the family’s life builds.

Yet, we think of the ramped up powers gifted to Jake in AHBL2 once he gives in to [yeh, for lack of a better word: the darkside]. Same concept, you let your emotions control you and boom instant magnifier of power.

Once season two came along Sam is a big bundle of confusion. Now what, use this ability and be a demon? But Sam is convinced he doesn’t use the ability, it uses him [is this some form of bargaining on his part~his way of grieving the loss of his normal life]? It all goes back to the choices, and free will vs. destiny thing that weighs heavily on Sam’s mind season 2. He doesn’t even actively try to take control of his visions because of his fear he might be doing the wrong thing.

From “Simon Says”: “Every premonition I've had, if they're not about the demon they're about the other kids the demon visited. Like Max Miller, remember him?”

Later in the show:

SAM: Yeah, maybe this is his plan, maybe we're all a bunch of psychic freaks, maybe we're all supposed to be —

DEAN: What, killers?

SAM: Yeah.

When Andy turns his power on Dean and Sam it only affects Dean, who can’t stop from telling his true feelings:

I'm trying. He's psychic. Kind of like you. Well, not really like you, but see, he thinks you're a murderer, and he's afraid that he's going to become one himself, 'cause you're all part of something that's terrible. And I hope to hell that he's wrong, but I'm starting to get a little scared that he might be right.

This only intensifies Sam’s belief that his powers spring from something truly evil.

By the end of Season Two Sam has watched others’ morph from innocent to killers. The YED has given him a vision of his mother’s death and promises of greatness. This does little to help either the viewer or Sam understand what is happening.

Sam (IMHO) uses three powers in Season Three:

super strength, mind persuasion, and demon resist.

In "Fresh Blood", Sam faces Gordon who has just been turned into a Vampire. Sam kills him with his bare hands by wrapping razor wire around his neck and strangling him until his head is severed. It’s pretty graphic and Sam’s face is as scary as a monsters. Was it a fluke? Was it supernatural strength. Vampires are mighty strong and Gordon was out to kill. Sam made it look all too easy, leading me to believe he was channeling the strength we see Jake use in AHBL.

In "Dream a little dream" Sam is being attacked brutally by Jeremy within Dean's dreams. He turns the tables on Jeremy by "summoning" the boy's father to distract him, suddenly Sam is no longer tied down. He attacks and kills Jeremy within the dream world. Where did Jeremy's father come from? Later, Bobby asks Sam directly how he planted that idea in the dram and if it could have been one of his psychic powers. Even Sam replies, he's not sure.

Sam’s undeniable use of power comes at the moment of Dean’s death and his potential annihilation by Lillith. Intitionally able to pin him to the wall Lillith blasts Sam with her sonic demon light….but wait! Nothing happens. Sam’s cowering in the corner (no doubt having expected to be blasted away), but alive and well and unstuck. So he gets up (all be it a little surprised at this turn of events) and gets strong, picking up the demon killing knife and advancing on Lillith whom he now knows holds no power over him.

It apears from the first episode of Season Four Sam is learning to control his powers, but will they control him until he learns to strike a balance…

…and isn’t that the point of our human existance?


I'm willing to put on record now (9/20/08) that Sam's powers are not demonic. He simply is a human with special powers. Special powers that greatly interest demons (and should frighten demons after we saw what he can do to them). But if Sam continues to think it's a demonic gift rather than an inherent capability he just may given in to using them for the wrong reasons. He may create a self-fulfilling prophesy for himself. I don't think Sam is evil. I think he has free will, but if he stops believing he has a choice, that will lead to his doom.

Taking a New FanGirl Direction

Still love Kyp Durron, don't worry, but I thought this was the right place to blog about my new found love of the TV show Supernatural.

My own thoughts on Supernatural and why I love it. First off, there is some incredibly well written and thoughtful “meta” out there analyzing the show and the Winchester family. My writing could not hold a candle to it. I swear all the fans of the show must have been English majors. But this is my personal fangirl page; so I won’t spend too much time or worry over the quality of my theories.

How did I discover the show? Oddly, I had a vague idea it existed. I’d actually read a x-over fan fic with Kyp, Dean and Sam in it (and it’s copied on here somewhere). But, despite knowing it was, in my simplest terms, a show a bout two hot guys who chase after weird shit, I still didn’t watch it. Finally, three weeks ago I tried to find it on You Tube….no luck, but! I could buy it through iTunes (cause at that point I just wanted to sample it to see if I liked it…remember, TV repulses me)!

But it wasn’t like a TV show. I guess really good programs make you think of movies rather than TV. Let’s just say, I was instantly impressed (and hooked). It’s taken me no time at all to watch all the seasons at least once and read the impressive meta out there.


But I don’t read the fan fiction. I think everything I need Sam and Dean to be and to do happens for me within the series. I don’t need to know what they ate for dinner, talked about on the way to a hunt….and sure as hell don’t want to read about them having sex with each other (there are tons of wincest stories and they are gross). I have no problem with slash, but geez! They’re brothers!!!!

Before I continue to why I love this show I need to mention how much this story reminds me of Star Wars. Dean is clearly Han Solo [wise ass bravado hiding the insecurity within, ordinary guy who has great luck and a hunter’s instincts, drives that Impala like the Millennium Falcon, it’s his identity…always has the “kid’s” back….I could go on]. Sam is Luke Skywalker [reluctant hero, pressed into leaving his life behind, is a chosen one with powers, plays in straight forward, a little geeky, but oh so adorable and well meaning, fears his destiny will overwhelm his free will]. There are tons of SW references and one liners within the show: Dean states after he’s mind tricked by a psychic kid: “He full on Obi-Wanned me!”


Why do I love the show? To start, with the two brothers spend their time hunting bad things, all the while keeping in mind the ultimate enemies are the demons who may want Sam to lead them. So there is also the draw of the mystery of the yellow eyed demon and his plans for the psychic children. There is the mystery of their mother Mary (why did she recognize the demon?). All this is very interesting and draws you in. The first time I watched several of the episodes I was genuinely spooked.

Ok, then there are the brothers. A combination of things makes this work. # 1 is that Ackles and Padalecki work so well together they could pass for true brothers. The dynamic of their interactions (Padalecki’s straight man to Ackles’ smart ass) makes them truly charming. The writing is humorous both in a witty and a pop culture way. The lines Dean delivers constantly crack me up. And then there are those “chick flick” moments when the brothers attempt to share their emotions and remain manly. It’s just beautiful man!

I had initially thought that die to Sammy being so emo he was the touchy-feely of the two. Not true. Someone did a study and Dean touches Sam three times more often. Who would have thunk it!

Finally! Jensen Ackles is a near perfect specimen to look at. Jared Padalecki seemed initially blah until I started watching the show. He’s one of those people who are 100 times more attractive when they smile. He is extremely cute when you watch him in an interview, and very lively. But, in Hell House [I think] we see Sammy in a towel……oh wow does he have a great body!

But I don’t watch Supernatural cause the boys are cute. I watch it because it is the hero’s journey of two brothers who can never go home again; who, if they survive their journey will have to create a new world/new home for themselves instead. I’m hoping the show is allowed to complete the 5 seasons it’s creator Eric Kripke envisioned to complete his story properly.

Crazy Fighting Jedi Women

Here are the lyrics that fit Jacen perfectly

Drowning deep in my sea of loathing
Broken your servant I kneel
(Will you give in to me?)
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing in me
(Will you give in to me?)
Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes
There is no turning back now
You've woken up the demon in me

Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You f*cker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me

I can see inside you, the sickness is rising
Don't try to deny what you feel
(Will you give in to me?)
It seems that all that was good has died
And is decaying in me
(Will you give in to me?)
It seems you're having some trouble
In dealing with these changes
Living with these changes
The world is a scary place
Now that you've woken up the demon in me



Very sad!

I'm never certain who is Jaina

I think my two favorites for Jaina are Kate Beckinsale and Hillary Swank. There are others who come close, but for me, those are the top two!

Invinsible......who?

So here we are...at the end of a nine book journey that began 2 years ago. The funny thing is those 2 years flew by and I really don't feel like they were two years ago. I think that's how real time works.

I don't think there are great epiphanies in 2 years. Even when there are children involved 2 years is not that great a span of time.

So here we are two years later with a series that spanned 6-10 months of time. In the series tons of stuff happened and teenaged boy completely came of age! Hello! Last time I checked 8th graders were just starting on their journey of self-discovery. And in a universe where the average human life span is 120, I'm not buying that the kid was adult level at 14.

Do I love Ben Skywalker's character? YES!!!!! But he still has growing to do. In Invincible he acts older than 14, not in any implusible way, just a little. He believes in redemption, and that sheds a real light on him. He seems like the ideal Jedi.

Early thoughts on Revelation

The only thing revealed in this book is that Jacen publically tells his collegues he is a Sith Lord. Wow! Shocker, everyone knows he's insane, he just names it.

Jaina's work with the Mando's is pretty cool. She really is such a light sider and doesn't know it. She has to be taught how to be ruthless, and I'm not so sure she learns. She bonds with Boba Fett's granddaughter Mirta, and I think the parallel of families dealing with the past and the recovery of relationships is evident. Jaina has her own grandfather to forgive as idd Mirta, just Mirta is lucky, she gets to before his death.

Is Boba redeemed? Ah, he's still pretty cold. I think Mirta has made him as human as he will ever be and that's not saying much.

Ben, as always is cooler than cool. He uses evidence and plays CSI in this book. My only complaint is when Luke asks him to be in charge of the Jedi pull out from Endor. Jag's there and certainly more competant than a 14 year old. sure Luke could have had Ben assist the older man...strange.

The Jedi perform a Fallenasi mind illusion on Jacen. He thinks he's surrounded by warships. He thinks it's Luke or maybe Zekk. that made no sense. Corran is the master of mind illusion and Jacen knows this. so if he were thinking of anyone he'd think of Corran Horn. The fact the Jedi got Jacen by using one of his typical tricks was great.

Other exciting Force use: Jaina over rides Jacen's Force choke of Mirta! I cheered at that. That's foreshadowing to me!

Fury: In which no one is furious....well not really, & no Ben doesn't turn Sithly, but this picture is way cooler than the official cover!

This was Aaron Allston's finale to the LOTF series. It was spectacular! 10 out of 10!!! Very energetic and it gave us everything we wanted from the characters. And yes, it was VERY Kyp heavy!!!!

Kyp first is shown basically leading the Order b/c Luke is in mourning and disfunctional. Kyp, with the help of the other master's, puts together a plan to neutralize Jacen. Later, we see the master's spar. It is Kyp who takes on Luke. Luke even uses two sabers at once and it is written that Kyp matches him for speed. They don't win, they just turn off the lightsabers and move on to another topic of discussion.


Later, there is to be a run on Jacen's ship...it does not happen, but it would have been Kyp and Luke storming Jacen.

Finally, we see Kyp disguised as a GAG officier attacking Centerpoint. With the help of the scientist from the first book (Betrayal), Kyp effectively destroys the superweapon and saves the planet!!!!!

And Kyp comes up with the rally: "Let the enemy do the work!"

Allston includes fun props to all his pets including Lando discovering he is going to be a daddy!!!

Excellent book!

ps....crappy cover! So I replaced it with this evil Ben done by Little Zion. Ben is fine in the novel. Showing maturity and acceptance and helping Luke get grounded. And by the end Luke is just fine.

Oh! How can I forget!!! This is where Han and Leia discover Allana is their granddaughter! Very very sweet scene after an energetic rescue scene!

Inferno

I liked this book. This is the book where Luke reminds us he really truly is VADER's son! Wow. Luke punks Jacen's butt a few good times. Then Jacen tries to abuse poor Ben and Luke barrels in and saves his kid. This is what we expect from the Grandmaster.

Caedus is his usual bonkers self. He sets Kashyyk afire.

The Jedi finally get smart (and likely follow Kyp's advice) and leave the GA until Jacen is out of power.

It's Been Awhile

Spoilers are rampant for the new Legacy book. I'll keep it simple and quote Darth Sidious:

"Everything is happening according to my plan." Or.... "I have foreseen this..."

Luke goes badass....he does....on Lumiya! Yay! He thinks Lumiya killed Mara and he takes revenge on her. He tracks her down and cuts her head off. Once again reminding us of just how much he holds back.

Mara makes peace with Kyp in this novel! YAY! They meet in a juice bar and Kyp offers to help her track Lumiya. She declines. She gets a com call from Ben and rushes off to see him. Kyp, again, gives parenting advice to her telling her to set limits. It's pretty funny how Kyp is offering parenting advice to Luke and Mara.

Traviss did a fine respectful job in giving Mara the finale she deserved. Mara fought Jacen/Caedus to the end. He got her with his trickery. It was very sad to read the reaction of both Ben and Luke.

This book made me like Mara more than ever!

Goofiest image of the book: (p. 266) Jacen sitting in his bathtub eating take-out food and writing Sith messages in the steam!

Okay...update: Today, February 23, 2008 I found I had taken notes while reading Sacrifice. So here are the notes:

p. 122 Jacen decides to destroy the Jedi Order

p. 209-210 Ben acts Very very very 14

p. 230 after the death of Jori Ben reflecs he is glad he feels and is not without emotion (this is a very sad part of the book, Jori gives his life and honor to protect Ben)

p. 234 A great discussion with Mom and Dad: "Are you angry with me?"

"How can I be after what I used to do? This is what made you. We wanted you to be like us... We wanted you to be a Jedi and do your duty."

p. 300 The Sith ship does see darkness in Ben...

Well we know later on just about everyone has the darkness....but isn't that true of all humanity?

This Poem Echoes the Sentiments of the Master

Invictus

~William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbow'd.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.



What a wonderful poem to stumble upon this dreary afternoon.
Kyp is indeed the master of his fate and captain of his soul!

I love how the lines echoed his struggle to fight darkness, and
how incredibly triumphant the author feels at the end!

I used to hate poetry...but I have come to love it when I can
connect it to something tangible.

I'm beginning to think...

.....that Mara has sexual tension with Kyp!

Anyway, our favorite master has truly become the master in this latest book. Funny when we remember him as Luke's foil.

Allston has given him the "lady", now give him the child. :)

Review of Exile

So nobody gets exciled okay!!!!

Why must they have such amazingly misleading titles and covers. Yes, Leia fights Alema and Han runs around with his blaster drawn, but that's it.

On to the review.

I like Allston because he has the ability to combine elements from all the stories including Bantam and the movies!!!

He referrenced more things than I can count, but being Kyp centric let me say he gave a nod to Kessel (taras-chi) and Kyp mentioned his darkside pull of the suncrusher from Yavin's planet. Kyp never overtly says what he did, but we all know the story so Allston doesn't belabor it, though he does make an odd hint:

"I felt with absolute cetainty what I was doing was right...." [only sith think in absolutes~ROTS]!!!!!!

It seemed the highlight ofthe book was Wedge and Ben. Wedge was outed from his job and then the corellians attempt to assissinate him [he has a street named after him for goodness sake!]. His escape with the help of Corran, Mirax, Iella, and Myri made a fun way to work everyrone in. so duh...Wedge is the Exile who we leave abord the Errant Venture moving in space near Coruscant. Lando and Booster are there too....and i was excited to see Lando!

Alema does not die even at the hands of several competant Jedi, and this is stupid. At this point I want her down. Lumiya takes most of the book to recover from Luke's three blaster shots. She causes more than her share of trouble by getting the Bothans and the Commenors involved and escallating the war. She can cause more trouble from her asteroid than Jacen from a Statdestroyer...he really needs to step it up, and I think we'll set that from Sacrifice onward.

Jacen is cold to Luke, addressing him as "Luke" in such a way that makes you forget they are realatives or that Jacen was once his honored apprentice. when you really think of it , it is heartbreaking. Jacen isn't very in this book!

Ben's story is exciting to me because he grows tremdously while on his quest. He does not get assigned a master, nor now do I think he will.

A Totally AU Teen Kyp !!!

What if he never returned from his trip to the darkside?