Sam never realized or experienced his powers until he was 22. They first came to him in the form of a nightmare that he didn’t heed. But then, why should he have considered it precognition to dream of his girlfriend dying in the same manner his mother had. Though he never saw his mother’s death, I’m sure the stories he heard from his father and Dean were vivid enough to give him nightmares as a child and teen. So he likely just thought he was transferring that horror to Jessica.
Then it happened just as he dreamt it, and though Sam doesn’t share this with Dean, you know it had to be driving him mad inside. Knowing he saw what would happen and did nothing to prevent it. But at the time, how would he have believed himself? He wouldn’t have, but this is Sam and I am sure he was packing plenty of guilt.
"Bloody Mary" is the first episode that shows Sam's potential abilities, but it is only hinted at that Sam had the psychic dream (it’s the secret he tells Dean he is carrying but refuses to share). His mirror image calls him out on it and states: “It’s your fault, you killed Jessica. You never told her the truth. Who you really were. But it’s more than that isn’t it. Those nightmares you’ve been having of Jessica dying, screaming, burning. You had them for days before she die. You were so desperate to be normal, to believe they were just dreams. How could you ignore them like that?”
That’s his inner guilt talking.
But the dreams didn’t go away. We see them manifest in “Home” when he dreams of the tree in front of their old house-an image he couldn’t possibly remember. And he is forced to tell Dean so Dean will take this as a “job”.
Sammy confesses: “I have these nightmares…and sometimes they come true.”
To which Dean replies [as only Dean could]: “First you tell me that you got the shining…and then you tell me that I got to go back home.”
When they meet Missouri and she touches Sam, you just know there will be a connection. She’s reading power off him in waves. And the look on his face tells you he isn’t all that surprised another psychic would pick up his vibe.
After they first negate the poltergeist, Missouri feels it is over, but Sam hesitates. His face reads like he still feels a presence though he simply says: “It’s nothing.” Sam is still in denial of his abilities, his new mission as a hunter, his journey. Being still powered by hunter’s instinct Dean and Sam wait outside and once there’s trouble rush back in to find the poltergeist back.
The flaming ghost approaches Sam and he recognizes that it’s his mother. She says so little here, just looks at them with love. But she does say: “I’m sorry.” to Sam (which I could speculate on all day), but this is about Sam’s powers, not the destiny thingy. After Mary truly negates the poltergeist, Sam can feel that the trouble is gone. Missouri can’t answer Sam as to what is happening to him. But later she says to John: “ That boy, he has such powerful abilities, why he couldn’t sense his own father, I have no idea.”
And so we are officially off into the realm of possibilities. Our hero, just discovered he could use the Force so to speak. So what did Sam think of it at that point? He hadn’t yet heard the YED say he had plans for him….which I think made Sam connect his abilities with evil.
Evidence points to Sam thinking the special abilities are only one sided: evil. They are a “gift” of the YED. That’s why, in season three, he states the visions are all gone now that the demon is dead. Is this Sam’s way of attempting to reconnect to the normal or is it just a cop out (or more annoying denial)?
But before the YED states this what does Sam think? It took him 6 months to share his secret with Dean, whom he trusts with his life. Sammy doesn’t like being different, doesn’t want to be the freak. After all, these guys hunt the strange, and Sam doesn’t want to be among them. He even differentiates this to Dean:
“We hunt evil, not all supernatural things are evil.” [Paraphrased by me]
So I think initially Sam thought his abilities were a fluke, weird, uncomfortable. They confused him (witness him asking Missouri why he had them) and he’d like answers. But he doesn’t see them as harmful, especially in light of watching sweet Missouri use her psychic abilities so judiciously.
When the visions finally lead him to Max in “Nightmare” he identifies with Max and tries to help him. But, he also learns that Max uses his telekinesis for revenge. That the abilities can easily be misused especially if the person has been abused as Max was.
Sam’s visions are now happening during the day and seem stress triggered. They seem to be the natural gift he possesses, but once he realizes his inability to act will result in Dean’s death he pushes out with his mind and moves the china cabinet. This is Sam’s only use of TK in season one through three (though he tried hard to use it in Devil’s Trap~to no avail). Is this because he now knows that TK exists that he knows he might be able to do it? Still, at this point he won’t consider it to be a demonic power since he still hasn’t met up with YED.
Sam’s powers save the life of baby Rosie and her family in “Salvation”. Here, Sam may not think he is in control of them, yet he heeds them and follows the clues they provide him with. He’s having the visions as he walks to that neighborhood. Subconsciously he is tapping into the strength as the pressure of saving the family’s life builds.
Yet, we think of the ramped up powers gifted to Jake in AHBL2 once he gives in to [yeh, for lack of a better word: the darkside]. Same concept, you let your emotions control you and boom instant magnifier of power.
Once season two came along Sam is a big bundle of confusion. Now what, use this ability and be a demon? But Sam is convinced he doesn’t use the ability, it uses him [is this some form of bargaining on his part~his way of grieving the loss of his normal life]? It all goes back to the choices, and free will vs. destiny thing that weighs heavily on Sam’s mind season 2. He doesn’t even actively try to take control of his visions because of his fear he might be doing the wrong thing.
From “Simon Says”: “Every premonition I've had, if they're not about the demon they're about the other kids the demon visited. Like Max Miller, remember him?”
Later in the show:
SAM: Yeah, maybe this is his plan, maybe we're all a bunch of psychic freaks, maybe we're all supposed to be —
DEAN: What, killers?
SAM: Yeah.
When Andy turns his power on Dean and Sam it only affects Dean, who can’t stop from telling his true feelings:
I'm trying. He's psychic. Kind of like you. Well, not really like you, but see, he thinks you're a murderer, and he's afraid that he's going to become one himself, 'cause you're all part of something that's terrible. And I hope to hell that he's wrong, but I'm starting to get a little scared that he might be right.
This only intensifies Sam’s belief that his powers spring from something truly evil.
By the end of Season Two Sam has watched others’ morph from innocent to killers. The YED has given him a vision of his mother’s death and promises of greatness. This does little to help either the viewer or Sam understand what is happening.
Sam (IMHO) uses three powers in Season Three:
super strength, mind persuasion, and demon resist.
In "Fresh Blood", Sam faces Gordon who has just been turned into a Vampire. Sam kills him with his bare hands by wrapping razor wire around his neck and strangling him until his head is severed. It’s pretty graphic and Sam’s face is as scary as a monsters. Was it a fluke? Was it supernatural strength. Vampires are mighty strong and Gordon was out to kill. Sam made it look all too easy, leading me to believe he was channeling the strength we see Jake use in AHBL.
In "Fresh Blood", Sam faces Gordon who has just been turned into a Vampire. Sam kills him with his bare hands by wrapping razor wire around his neck and strangling him until his head is severed. It’s pretty graphic and Sam’s face is as scary as a monsters. Was it a fluke? Was it supernatural strength. Vampires are mighty strong and Gordon was out to kill. Sam made it look all too easy, leading me to believe he was channeling the strength we see Jake use in AHBL.
In "Dream a little dream" Sam is being attacked brutally by Jeremy within Dean's dreams. He turns the tables on Jeremy by "summoning" the boy's father to distract him, suddenly Sam is no longer tied down. He attacks and kills Jeremy within the dream world. Where did Jeremy's father come from? Later, Bobby asks Sam directly how he planted that idea in the dram and if it could have been one of his psychic powers. Even Sam replies, he's not sure.
Sam’s undeniable use of power comes at the moment of Dean’s death and his potential annihilation by Lillith. Intitionally able to pin him to the wall Lillith blasts Sam with her sonic demon light….but wait! Nothing happens. Sam’s cowering in the corner (no doubt having expected to be blasted away), but alive and well and unstuck. So he gets up (all be it a little surprised at this turn of events) and gets strong, picking up the demon killing knife and advancing on Lillith whom he now knows holds no power over him.
It apears from the first episode of Season Four Sam is learning to control his powers, but will they control him until he learns to strike a balance…
…and isn’t that the point of our human existance?
I'm willing to put on record now (9/20/08) that Sam's powers are not demonic. He simply is a human with special powers. Special powers that greatly interest demons (and should frighten demons after we saw what he can do to them). But if Sam continues to think it's a demonic gift rather than an inherent capability he just may given in to using them for the wrong reasons. He may create a self-fulfilling prophesy for himself. I don't think Sam is evil. I think he has free will, but if he stops believing he has a choice, that will lead to his doom.
