4.02 Are you there God?

Dean...oh, Dean. When will you believe? Castiel has his work cut out for him in influencing Dean. Of course, threatening him with Hell might help his argument! Geez, so much for Mr. Nice angel!

What an episode. A little slower than the debut, but it's sort of hard to top a resurection from the dead. This week I was a little surprised Dean did tell Bobby and Sam about Castiel. I was not surprised, but I was very very happy and relieved, that Sam still has his faith. It was good to hear Sam’s lines about being relieved the good guys were out there and not just demons. He was so happy Dean was “touched by an angel”. Hopefully this shows he has not turned to the darkside. I think when he said he was not afraid of angels he was stating why should he fear them, he isn’t a demon or a bad guy. I have a hard time believing that the demon blood he received as a baby made him part demon. But we just might find out the truth this season.

Jim Beaver’s delivery of Bobby was the best I’d ever seen. The pained look he gives when Dean says why does God care about me said so much. And how rattled he was to see the mauled hunter, and later how the girls disturbed him, shows he has a lot of depth and compassion. Then there was the panic room! I was shouting at the TV…”Bobby is so awesome.” And seconds later Dean delivered his “Bobby you’re awesome!” line. LOL.

The words from Henrickson and Meg were filled with a lot of meaning. I took it that what they said was really the inner thoughts of Dean, Bobby, and Sam. Like they were yelling at themselves for failing those people.

Castiel’s appearance was strong and we learn he’s “no Michael Landon”. Dean was horribly disrespectful to a being who pulled him from hell, but then Dean’s never been too good at saying thank you.

And it’s really the end of the world? Wow, I have no idea how that will be written. But I have full faith, that whatever happens, the writers will deliver an incredible show.

Welcome to the Black Parade

Welcome to the Black Parade

When I was a young boy,My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said, "Son when you grow up,would you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?"
He said "Will you defeat them,your demons, and all the non believers, the plans that they have made?"
Because one day I'll leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join the black parade."

Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me.
And other times I feel like I should go.
And through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.
When you're gone we want you all to know.
We'll carry on,
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And in my heart I can't contain it
The anthem won't explain it.

A woman sends you reeling from decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all.
So paint it black and take it back
Lets shout it loud and clear
Defiant to the end
We hear the call
Do or die
You'll never make me
Because the world, will never take my heart
You can try, you'll never break me
You want it all, you wanna play this part
I won't explain or say I'm sorry
I'm unashamed, I
'm gonna show my scar

Give a cheer, for all the broken
Listen here, because it's only you
I'm just a man,
I'm not a hero
I'm just a boy, who's meant to sing this song
I'm just a man,
I'm not a hero
I -- don't – care


This is a pretty cool sounding song! I thought the lyrics were written just for Dean! Sometimes a group really fits the fandom mood. I know that Muse is all about Edward and Bella! Maybe My Chemical Romance has lyrics that fit the Winchesters?

My favorite here was the father teaching the son, and then dying. The son saying he will carry on and fight: be the “saviour of the broken and the damned.”

And “this world will never take my heart.” What is it with Dean and his heart?

Top 20 Episodes from Seasons 1-3

This is just a start. I listed these this morning, but haven't finalized the ranking yet, nor do I have the energy to defend my choices yet. Too tired, but here they are...somewhat in order.

20. Nightmare
19. Home
18. Scarecrow
17. Shadow
16. Nightshifter
15. Sin City
14. Malleua Maleficarum
13. Pilot
12. Something Wicked
11. Supernatural X-mas
10. Fresh Blood
9. Born Under a Bad Sign
8. Heart
7. Croatoan/Hunted
6. Faith
5. What is and Never Should Be
4. Dream a Little Dream
3. Jus in Bello
2. Salvation/Devil's Trap/IMTOD
1. All Hell Breaks Loose 1 & 2

Fangasm Reaction to Season 4 Episode 1

Holy shit OMFG! Sorry for the blasphemy, but that’s my reaction to the season opener of Supernatural. I lay on my couch holding my blanket for dear life as the first 15 minutes played out commercial free. WOW! This episode had so many little teasers all over the place setting the entire season up for one big ride.

The summary and the reactions:

OK, so we knew Dean would be back. But his agonizing digging yourself free from the grave (Sam must of buried him shallow) and his weak parched voice…[oh Dean, we’ll save you]. Very heartbreaking. His body as he walked down that road and later when he pulled his shirt up to inspect the damages….HOT! We already played the incredible Bobby reunion [like at least 10 times on youtube, you know it!]. Then they track down Sam….the alias? Wedge Antilles! LOL. Then Dean says, “you just have to know him [Sam].” Yep SW geek.

Sam’s found in a motel room after having cheap sex with a woman he doesn’t know. His body looks like a brick wall coming at Dean when he first saw Dean and was poised to attack. His move on Dean was so fierce it’s a wonder Bobby was able to stop him. Apparently Jared (and Jensen…see above) have spent more time at the gym over the last few months. Then they hugged and Sam didn’t cry! But Bobby was all misty eyed for the two of them. Yeh, you read that riht! Mr. Emo himself did not cry.

They go to a psychic…Poor Pamela Barnes…silly girl, you can’t “see” the true face of “God” and she lost her eyes in the process. This and the pure loud noise Dean hears let’s us know that Castiel is packing some power.

Next, the boys go for pie. Hasn’t Dean learned by now that pie is the root of all evil? There’s demons at that diner! But they’re small fry, little threat, and the one keeps looking at Sam and he at her like they’re talking telepathically. Just suspicious looking that’s all I’m saying. Dean gets all up in her face and she backs down, he thinks he spooked her with his bravado, and later he all but confesses to Sam that he was scared it wouldn’t work, and I was suspecting he’d be tossed into a wall. But no…they leave peacefully. So I gotta wonder, was she actually afraid of Sam? Has he grown a rep as a demon dispatcher!?! Course, Dean wouldn’t know this cause Sam says he’s not using the powers.

The discussion scenes in the car are held as both men are in shadows. I think they’re both keeping secrets, but I think Dean isn’t aware of his entirely yet. It was good not to see him break apart. He was confused, but he was Dean. Sam was aloof, cold, definitely not the emo boy we know and love and I don’t think there was one instance of him giving the puppy eyes.

Later the brothers part after Sam sneaks out of the hotel room. They aren’t back together again for the rest of the episode. Bobby returns and hooks up with Dean. They head somewhere to summon the “whatever” who sprang him from hell. Meanwhile, Sam goes back to the diner, presumably to kill the demons with the demon knife, but WAIT! The knife was left at the hotel room…..something’s up.

And that’s when we get what we’ve been waiting for:

Sam kills demons with his bare hands by doing some funky psychic mojo thing. Just raises his hand and the demon smoke rises out of the body and is gone. Ruby is alive and well in a new body and apparently Sam’s tutor. And he isn’t just exorcising anymore…he sends the demons all the way back to hell, or perhaps he vapes them completely, not sure, but often his work kills the human host. And he’s been doing this for months.

Sam lied! “Haven’t seen Ruby, don’t know what happened to her.” Yep…not surprised there. He looked uncomfortable the whole time he was telling about his time alone to Dean. And Ruby wonders how Dean will feel when he finds out. And although Sam doesn’t seem to trust Ruby, he’s much more buddy-buddy with her now that Dean isn’t there to stop him. Clearly Dean has been his grounding force and his buffer.

So finally we meet Castiel. Wow……he says he’s an angel. And I go back to “Houses of the Holy.” “Mom always said there were angels watching over me.” What did Mary Winchester know? Or, what did she do that set these events in motion? [Fuel for a speculation post by me…later]

Castiel tells Dean he thought Dean would have been one of the special ones who could actually see his true form, but he was not. Castiel claims he is an angel of the Lord. “God sent me. We have work to do.” And that’s where our episode ends.

There is symbolism in Dean and Sam not being in the same scenes towards the end of the episode. One is talking with a demon, the other with an angel. But what are the demons trying to accomplish via Sam? Why does Ruby want Sam so darn powerful? And geez, why will she kill other demons? Then Castiel? He’s more like the angels in “Dogma” than any angel of puffy cloud kindness. He’s scary! But he’s no demon. Dean full on stabbed him with the demon knife 9in the heart no less).

So when did Dean become the target for a plan of destiny? Sam’s been marked since 6 months or younger (cause we don’t know the back story there), but when did Dean become the chosen one too?

So many questions! Absolutely on target episode for kicking off the season!!!!!!!!!

One More Day!

One more day until I get to watch the season premiere of Supernatural Season 4! YAY! I can't wait to find out what happed to make the candle go all glowy there in that picture of "mature" looking Sam. Can't wait to see their reunion! OMG SQEEEEEE!!! Fangrl me all the way! LOL !!!!!

I figured out why Season 3 is flatter for me:

Season One we learned about the brothers as they got to know each other again. We learned with them about all manner of supernatural beings, and we always felt the pressing need to find Daddy Win and the YED! The pace wasn't as fast as season two, but it had it's moments of urgency.

Season Two was more urgent. We lost Daddy Win and gained Bobby. We were always searching...this time for answers to the pressing "Is Sam evil question?" and his imfamous destiny....all while Dean wallowed in his "I'm not worthy" guilt. The tension built beautifully to the end and supernatural was abundant.

Season Three began one week later and their just wasn't OMG...Dean's going to Hell what can I do urgency. Just wasn't there. sure Sam had a few moments like in episode two where he and Bobby were on the phone discussing options behind Dean's back....sure Ruby made her demonic little promises, but there was nothing to be done. so instead of urgency, we got acceptance. Makes me think of the reaper in a way and how she told Dean to just see it all as fate.

Well Season 4 sure seems to have a lot of energy from what I've tried to sneak a peak at. I thik there will be tension in wondering if Dean's trip up top is just temporary [better not be..he is too good for hell] or if Sam made any assinine deals in Dean's absence. And they better deliever on the Mary story line mystery. We all want to know.

Ahhhh, the waiting is the hardest part!

Fantastic Art Work by Xanseviera

You have to go to deviantart.com to check out the work of artist "Xanseviera". She is incredible. She draws Sam and Dean in manga form (and yes, sometimes chibi). While her work isn't an exact replica of their faces, she captures their emotions and is utterly consistant over time and topic with how she designs the "boys". You can feel the love! I can't even imagine her talent!!!!! There's a lot of beautiful work on that site in total. I highly recommend perusal!

http://xanseviera.deviantart.com/gallery/#Supernatural-galore


That should get you started at her gallery! Enjoy! Below is just one cute little "puppy dog eyes" moment by her:

And below is her drawing of more serious faces:

Thoughts on Jus in Bello

Supernatural is a show that is full of moral ambiguity. Jus in Bello is one example of questioning what is right, and do the ends justify the means. Seemingly just an episode about the brothers getting shafted by Bela, Victor Hendrickson getting his revenge, and more demon fighting. To believe that, is not enough. Sure the outer focus is there driving the plot, but floating on the surface begging to be examined, are the greater moral questions. And that’s what lifts Supernatural to another level. It makes the viewer think.

Jus in Bello was also a contrast between the human point of view and the demon’s. Humans preserve life, demons don’t. Demons “strike fast and leave no survivors.” Humans try to minimize death and destruction even to the enemy, and humans see an enormous distinction between civilians and combatants. The demon point of view is painfully apparent when Ruby enters the station. We have, by this point in the episode, the human perspective, played out by newly formed comrades Dean and Victor, versus the demonic perspective (sorry Sammy), played out by Ruby and silently acquiesced by Sam.

Watch how little Sam actually says. His silence speaks volumes. When Ruby enters and offers to make a virgin sacrifice, both Dean and Victor are very vocally opposed while Sam stands silently.
And who does Ruby look to? Sam , of course! And how does Sam respond? With a face that states, sometimes you need to sacrifice one to save many. Then Dean makes this face that says: “How dare you even think about thinking about her plan?” Dean can break Sam away from his dark thoughts, and he does here, but not so easily.

And that’s the scary facts. Sam (Ruby’s little protégé) was willing to follow the demon path to fighting war, and would have if Dean didn’t step in and force him to reason. Sam may have agreed with Dean physically, but I seriously doubt he wanted to follow Dean’s plan, it’s just Dean said so, and so I will.

Ruby leaves in a huff spouting something about Sam not being the leader she bet on and Sam looks after her sadly. Apparently he hates to disappoint his teachers/mentors. Hmmm?

So the demons enter and Dean and Victor go at it with rock salt rounds like two determined hunters, and what does Sammy do to dispatch demons? He mostly uses his gun to bludgeon them, and his bare fists. Clearly Sam is a nasty force to reckon with.

This episodes shocking ending and Ruby’s pissed tantrum throw the moral question right in our faces. Decisions made in war are never easy, but combatants (and supernatural hunters) must never forget their humanity. To do so, places them at risk of being at the rank of a demon.

Why Season 3 is just kinda not great

Don't get me wrong. Season 3 had some really good episodes, but I think where it falls flat for me is that I don't see it full steam ahead with the character development we came to expect in the first 44 shows. [Do the math: that's like 29 hours of character development]

OK, so what do we have: We've Dean at first on some half-manic suicide mission level.

Understandable, what else can he do? Sure he'll kill the evil sons o'bitches on his way out, but he'll go down with a smile on his face. This is typical Dean and he's probably the truest to form in this season especially as he grows nearer his death and admits to himself and Sam tht he is scared and he doesn't deserve to go to Hell.

Then there's Bobby, we all love Bobby cause he's a hell of alot more father than we ever saw John be...ok, that's harsh. But other than John giving his soul for his son (which made us realize he really was an outstanding man after all) we thought he was piss poor. Come on! When Sam called him in Faith he never answered, Dean might have died and his father wouldn't have known for months. But Bobby! Call him and he's just an hour out. He'll fix your car, your gun, he'll exorcise your demons...good ol' reliable Bobby.

But Sam! Sammy!!!!!! WTF! Your the Anti-Christ Superstar...the Chosen one...the last man standing....your brother's going to hell and you what? Use all those cool powers to save him? What? They disappeared! You're all normal again and back to being choked like in season one.

Oh that's just great. Just when Dean needs you...you bail! It's like Luke went to Dagobah, learned all about the Force, but when he got spooked in the cave he wouldn't touch the Force again. So when Han was about to die...he could do nothing. (Oh, wait! That kinda did happen).

Yesterday, I started an article on Sam's grief and I wrote about Seaon 3 being "Denial". Yes, Sam is denying the abilities he has because the demon is dead. Ugh! It's like that whole arc died. I know Kripke has a plan, but still, this was a disappointment for me. I know Sam slowly stepped up to the plate and there were a few moments (notibly Gordon's decapitation) which made it seem like Sam was changing, but all in all he was the same puppy who couldn't do a damn thing for big bro. Ruby finally tells Sam (and us) that he let his powers grow dormant. Then he beats Lillith at her powers and leaves us hanging for season 4.

The biggest plot drop and likely victim of the writers' strike had to be Mary's secret. In episode 2 Sam investigates the deaths of family memebers and friends. We never learn why the YED would want to systematically wipe them all out. Were they protecting Sam? Would there existance let Sam know he had no demonic destiny? Hopefully seaon 4 will answer these things, but I think that more would have been said if there were the 6 more episodes that were suppose to be there.

And box set with it's 5 discs was sad. Just 5 discs! Yet, with Dean in Hell [Han Solo in carbonite] and Lillith on the loose one can't but parallel that we are at the end of the Empire Strikes Back part of the Journey. And we must be patient.....and stand firm as we roll into some dark times before the dawn (or something like that).

May Season 4 blow us out of the water!

Sam and the Stages of Grief

WORK in Progress.............................................. !!!!!

There are five basic stages of grief which need not come in any particular order and may over lap each other. There is also no specific timeline for grief to play out as all people are different. I propose here that one of the many forces of Supernatural is the burden of grief. All the Winchesters carry this burden and handle it in their own “special” ways, but I’ll focus on Sam Winchester and the first three seasons of the show.

During Season One Sam is mourning on many levels. His primary grief is the loss of his girlfriend Jessica. The fact that her death was caused by the YED who killed her in the same manner as his mother has brought back his grief over never having a mother, which in turn reminds him of his sadness over never having a normal childhood. Jessica’s death rips him from the comfortable and safe world he created for himself at Stanford.

Each season Sam’s grief is written with depth and complexity, but within each season there is usually one primary stage demonstrated:

Season One: Depression

Season Two: Bargaining

Season Three: Denial

Season Four: Anger?

Season Five: Acceptance?

Bargaining seems to be the predominant theme of season 2.

Hunted [2.10]:

SAM: "We've just got to figure out what's going on, then, what the hell all this means. "*

DEAN "We do? I've been thinking about this, I think we should just lay low. You know? At least for a while. It'd be safer. And that way I can make sure —"

SAM: "What? That I don't turn evil? That I don't turn into some kind of killer?"

***That’s Sam, the logical one, needing to reason out what his brother just told him.

But there are also signs of acceptance into the life of hunting:

SAM I'm not just gonna ditch the job.

DEAN Screw the job. Screw it, man, I'm sick of the job anyway. I mean, we don't get paid, we don't get thanked. The only thing we get is bad luck.

SAM Well, come on, dude, you're a hunter. I mean, it's what you were meant to do.

DEAN Oh, I wasn't meant to do anything, I don't believe in that destiny crap.

SAM You mean you don't believe in my destiny.

DEAN Yeah, whatever.

SAM Look, Dean, I've tried running before. I mean, I ran all the way to California and look what happened. You can't run from this. And you can't protect me.

DEAN I can try.

SAM Thanks for that.Look, Dean, I'm gonna keep hunting. I mean, whatever is coming, I'm taking it head-on; so if you really want to watch my back, then I guess you're gonna have to stick around.


Playthings[2.11]: Sam to Dean after Dean questions his eagerness to go off on their next hunt: “We've got to save as many people as we can.”

Enter drunk!Sam:

SAM That guy who hung himself. I couldn't save him.

DEAN What are you talking about? You didn't know, you couldn't have done anything.

SAM That's an excuse, Dean. I should have found a way to save him. I should have saved Ava too.

DEAN Yeah, well, you can't save everyone, even you said that.

SAM No, Dean, you don't understand, all right? The more people I save, the more I can change!

DEAN Change what?

SAM My destiny, Dean!

OK, cosmic karma points galore! Save a person; win 2 free years to not burn in hell or be bothered by YED who want you to lead demonic armies, etc…..THAT’S BARGAINING SAMMY! BTW, he does manage to save both the mother and the little girl in this episode.

Save score: Sam=2, Dean=0

Houses of the Holy[2.13]: Sam is looking for salvation. He’s convinced the YED wants him for his side and though Sam plans to go out fighting he is still worried his destiny will overtake him. Sam is chosen by the ghost priest for being one in need of saving and by doing an act of penance (which is to “smite the wicked” in the ghost’s pov) he will find grace. This hits Sam to the core. Here he can do God’s will and by doing so find grace in God’s presence.

Denial is present throughout season three in the words of Sam to Dean: “I’ll find a way to save you. I’m not letting you go to Hell.” Stated in various ways, or understated in action. Yet, probably the only thing that could save Dean might be (but this is untested) Sam using his powers to change the outcome (and later in the season to use them to kill Lillith). But in order to use these powers to save Dean Sam would have to not be in denial that he even has them in the first place. And he is denying anything supernatural for its connection to the demon and the potential he fears.

In Mystery Spot the trickster reminds Sam that Dean's death is inevitable and gives him over 100 differerent death scenarios to truly help him understand it. Yet, it isn't until he finally prevents Sam from waking from the nightmare that Sam has to come to terms with his life without Dean, and even THEN, Sam is willing to do anything (yep, even killing the innocent) to get Dean back.

Sam can’t admit he is helpless to save Dean and let’s himself believe Ruby’s false promises to help him. Even to the last hour Sam insists, even when a very frightened but stoic Dean reminds him what the facts are.

Thoughts After Viewing Houses of the Holy

I've only seen this episode twice, which in the obsessed universe of SN is not very often, but today I watched it with Dean in mind, especially knowing how season four begins. Here is a link to a meta on faith as seen in Sam. It's worded much better than I could ever do and so it's better to focus on that coherence. http://dodger-winslow.livejournal.com/70009.html

So Dean...the seemingly non believer....how does that play out in a show about a ghost who thinks he's an avenging angel? It means Dean just has to work harder to make the spiritual fit into his rather practical beliefs: "I believe in what I've seen." Says Dean to Sam. Sam gives good arguement here that they have seen things that other people don't believe are real, so why couldn't there be angels.

But sorry Sammy, your lawyer mind tricks don't work on big brother, he ain't buying it. Your spiritual logic of yin and yang isn't changing his practical nature. This is quite reminesent of Han Solo saying there's no mystical energy field that controls his destiny. Yep, pure Han, pure Dean. Of course Han started to see proof Luke wasn't just filled with delusions of grandeur and eventually he did believe. Even at the end of this episode Dean is starting to wonder after he saw divine justice or the cosmic hand of God snuff out the baddie he was chasing.

OK, so what about season four? Something mystical is going to bring back from Hell and what it is remains to be seen, but I bet it might just alter Dean's perceptions a little bit more. After all, if he sees it, he might have to accept it as real.