Yep! I guess I'm a Skywalker cause I had a vision ...well, no a dream last night in which I had a conversation with George Lucas. The scene took place in my grandmother's living room. this is highly symbolic. What you dream of in the living room is indicative of things hoped for.
So here's what transpired:
Me: "You could have at least let Kyp have someone then killed the character off and had him deal with that ."
GL: "That's entirely possible"
GL: "His life will never be easy. He's chosen this path. His lot in life is to suffer and he's in for a lot of suffering in LOTF."
ME: "So your saying somewhere in the next 2 years and 9 stories we will see some resolution of Kyp?"
GL: "You'll see him at some point in the series."
That's it!!!!! Let's see if my prediction powers are there!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Friday, May 05, 2006
James Hetfield secretly understands Kyp!
James Hetfield's lyrics capture the character of Kyp Durron quite accurately. Here are some lyrics from "Where ever I may roam"
I adapt to the unknown
Under wandering stars I’ve grown
By myself but not alone
I ask no one...and my ties are severed clean
The less I have the more I gain
Off the beaten path I reign
Rover wanderer
Nomad vagabond
Call me what you will
But I’ll take my time anywhere
I’m free to speak my mind anywhere
And I’ll never mind anywhere
Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home
So Kyp...so cool!
Great lyrics James! I always had an affection for Metallica anyway!
I adapt to the unknown
Under wandering stars I’ve grown
By myself but not alone
I ask no one...and my ties are severed clean
The less I have the more I gain
Off the beaten path I reign
Rover wanderer
Nomad vagabond
Call me what you will
But I’ll take my time anywhere
I’m free to speak my mind anywhere
And I’ll never mind anywhere
Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home
So Kyp...so cool!
Great lyrics James! I always had an affection for Metallica anyway!
What Wedge Said
Kyp laughed easily. “Something like that.”
This is in response to him falling to the Darkside in a week. I thought it was somewhat odd that he would have taken that lightly. Typically Kyp is humbled by his fall.
The novel proceeds to Chandrila to meet with Wedge and Gavin. Wedge is angry to have to meet with Kyp, whom he obviously still hates for violating Qui Xux’s mind fourteen years before. “Durron, I don’t t like you. The very best thing you are is a murderer.”
He listens to Kyp’s description of the ship yard and then irritates Kyp who angrily jumps up, to which Wedge commands, “Shut up and sit down.”
Wedge agrees to take on the unofficial mission and Kyp agrees to take his orders. Kyp was willing to submit to Wedge’s unbridled hatred in order to get what he needed.
Kyp asks Jaina to be his apprentice and she states she will think about it. This won’t come up again until Hapes after the ill-fated mission against the voxyn.
The team attacks the Vong shipyard and destroys it. They also destroy what they think is a super weapon, but it was an empty world ship. Jaina is furious that Kyp would lie to her. Wedge and Gavin of course are furious, but the others are happy to have struck such a blow. This action of Kyp’s remains controversially questionable: was it a dark act? But no Vong innocents were on the ship. They were on dying worldships. The Vong would have needed the new worldship eventually, but now they were set back in their creation of new homes.
Kyp does not behave like an honorable Jedi. He lies and deceives. He is the aggressor. He is vain and arrogant and willing to do anything necessary to get what he needs. He is “the ends justify the means” kind of guy at this point. He is still in danger of making choices which are dark and of possibly going all the way to the Darkside and he does not seem bothered by it in the least. “I will do what I must” he tells Jaina.
This is in response to him falling to the Darkside in a week. I thought it was somewhat odd that he would have taken that lightly. Typically Kyp is humbled by his fall.
The novel proceeds to Chandrila to meet with Wedge and Gavin. Wedge is angry to have to meet with Kyp, whom he obviously still hates for violating Qui Xux’s mind fourteen years before. “Durron, I don’t t like you. The very best thing you are is a murderer.”
He listens to Kyp’s description of the ship yard and then irritates Kyp who angrily jumps up, to which Wedge commands, “Shut up and sit down.”
Wedge agrees to take on the unofficial mission and Kyp agrees to take his orders. Kyp was willing to submit to Wedge’s unbridled hatred in order to get what he needed.
Kyp asks Jaina to be his apprentice and she states she will think about it. This won’t come up again until Hapes after the ill-fated mission against the voxyn.
The team attacks the Vong shipyard and destroys it. They also destroy what they think is a super weapon, but it was an empty world ship. Jaina is furious that Kyp would lie to her. Wedge and Gavin of course are furious, but the others are happy to have struck such a blow. This action of Kyp’s remains controversially questionable: was it a dark act? But no Vong innocents were on the ship. They were on dying worldships. The Vong would have needed the new worldship eventually, but now they were set back in their creation of new homes.
Kyp does not behave like an honorable Jedi. He lies and deceives. He is the aggressor. He is vain and arrogant and willing to do anything necessary to get what he needs. He is “the ends justify the means” kind of guy at this point. He is still in danger of making choices which are dark and of possibly going all the way to the Darkside and he does not seem bothered by it in the least. “I will do what I must” he tells Jaina.
Edge of Victory: Rebirth
In Rebirth:
Interestingly Kyp’s squadron is shown as being quite in awe of him. “they looked at Kyp as if he were a Master of old.”
However Jaina is not so easily impressed. She tells Kyp, “I’m still not happy with you Kyp. I don’t think I like who you’ve become.”
“I’ve become what I need to be. What your uncle Luke was in the war against the Empire.”
“Boy you must love your mirror.”
“No, I’m not saying I like what I’ve become either, Jaina. Your uncle Luke eventually went to the Darkside--”
“Hey, at least he fought it. You spent what , a week training to be a Jedi before the Darkside seduced you?”
Kyp laughed easily. “Something like that.”
She speaks to the enormous debt he owes Han and Luke for getting him out of the mess after Carida. “But that doesn’t stop you from badmouthing him all over the galaxy…it doesn’t stop you from undermining him as a leader.?”
“Any time Luke is ready to be a leader again, I’m ready to follow him. Kyp responds.
Jaina admonishes Kyp for enjoying the glory of having a squadron that adores him as a leader. Kyp doesn’t deny this truth, however he reminds her that even if he is vain he seeks to destroy the Vong. He continues to remind here of the tragedy of the galaxy and she can sense anger, pity, and grief in him. Remember Kyp believes with all his heart: “Rescue is Our Mandate”.
The conversation turns to Kyp’s philosophy on the role of the Jedi. He makes his famous speech:
That was his war, Jaina. This one is ours. Luke wants to protect us from ourselves. I say we’re all grown up. The old Jedi order died with the Old Republic. Then there was Luke, and only Luke, and a lot of fumbling to re-create the Jedi from what little he knew of them. He did the best he could, and he made mistakes. I was one of them. His generation of Jedi was put together like a rickety space scow, but from it something new has emerged. It’s not the old Jedi order, nor should it be. We, Jaina, are the new Jedi Order, and this is our war.
...continued in What Wedge Said
Edge of Victory: Conquest (of Jaina Solo...not!)
Kyp finds the Vong to be an evil which must be eradicated. In Edge of Victory: Conquest Kyp is depicted as pretty desperate. Luke has called the Jedi together for a meeting and Kyp is extremely angry. He is challenging Luke in ways that would be forbidden in the Old Order and that were still very questionable in the New.
“What would you have us do? “ Luke asked mildly.
“Defend ourselves, Fight evil in whatever guise it takes…And we don’t let the fight come to us…We go out and find the enemy. Offense against evil is defense.”
Kyp goes on to compare the current struggle to the struggle against the Empire. The conversation turns to their shared history of the Darkside. Kyp then is asked by Luke.
“What are you saying, Kyp, that it is easy to return from the Darkside and that justifies the risk?”
“I am saying the line between dark and light isn’t as sharp as you’re trying to make it, or exactly where you want to put it.”
Kyp continues with an analogy of a light saber attack and questions Luke’s philosophies quite skillfully. Luke is patient and stays to his own opinion. However, it is obvious Kyp has many Jedi supporters of his way of thinking.
Finally Kyp presses the point, “ When will you attack, Master Skywalker?”
As the arguments proceed Kyp also shows that he believes in honestly expressing your beliefs. He even gives Jacen credit for being true to himself when he attempted to deny the force. Kyp’s demeanor throughout this meeting is one of anger and fury. He will not back down from his beliefs which he holds to be the only truths. Luke is fearful that these passionate feelings may cause Kyp, and any Jedi to fall to the Darkside.
“If we win the fight against the YV at the price of using Darkside powers it will be no victory.”
Kyp responds by rolling his eyes and crossing his arms. He states it was a mistake to attend the meeting and he had attended with hopes that Luke would be more decisive and willing to lead aggressively. But Luke is utterly convinced that Kyp’s stance is too close to the Darkside, and is it? I don’t think so. I honestly believe it is proactive defense.
He leaves the meeting and is followed out by Jaina and Anakin. Anakin is a huge admirer of Kyp. We see how the boy often takes the same stance of action over contemplation. Even Jaina pretty much believes the Jedi need to look out for their own and to use aggression may be necessary.
Kyp’s character arc bottoms out in the next novel, Edge of Victory : Rebirth. However it is interesting to note that Luke’s character is moving up his arc towards becoming aggressive. An arrest warrant was issued for Luke which caused him to flee Coruscant and go into hiding. He desires to speak with Kyp because now he wants to be more aggressive. As he tells Jaina, …”things are different now”.
This demonstrates Luke’s respect for Kyp and his desire to maintain Kyp as a member of the Jedi order. But why? What is Luke’s motivation? Does Luke want to actually listen to Kyp’s point of view or does he fear Kyp being persuasive enough to split the Order? Kyp has always had followers. He is an influential member and a Master in the Order. It is likely the latter reason, for Luke has placed a tracer on Kyp’s X-Wing and he tells Jaina, “Kyp worries me.”
Jaina heads out to Serpindal and locates Kyp and his group. What Jaina finds is the most uncharacteristically calm Kyp Durron ever. It almost makes you wonder, did he turn to the Darkside? He calmly hears why Jaina has come to find him and is bothered that Skywalker is running from arrest. He doesn’t express himself with any fury. All the while he talks to Jaina she keeps getting a funny feeling in her stomach. You wonder if he is mind influencing her. You never really know either.
Basically Kyp explains how he has been running recon over the past few months and how he believes the Vong have grown a super weapon capable of destroying star systems. He asks Jaina to use her military influence to get Antilles and Darklighter to use the squadrons and join with Kyp’s squadron to destroy the thing. He explains that , “what you saw over Serpindal was confidential, not something for crazy Kyp Durron to know. “ But he did see it because he had done a dangerous recon there using his extremely talented force skills to make hyperspace jumps into the system. Jaina agrees to help him and they find Wedge Antilles.
Kyp first flirts with Jaina in this novel…”Don’t worry, I prefer my friends uncooked. Especially my more attractive ones.”
“What would you have us do? “ Luke asked mildly.
“Defend ourselves, Fight evil in whatever guise it takes…And we don’t let the fight come to us…We go out and find the enemy. Offense against evil is defense.”
Kyp goes on to compare the current struggle to the struggle against the Empire. The conversation turns to their shared history of the Darkside. Kyp then is asked by Luke.
“What are you saying, Kyp, that it is easy to return from the Darkside and that justifies the risk?”
“I am saying the line between dark and light isn’t as sharp as you’re trying to make it, or exactly where you want to put it.”
Kyp continues with an analogy of a light saber attack and questions Luke’s philosophies quite skillfully. Luke is patient and stays to his own opinion. However, it is obvious Kyp has many Jedi supporters of his way of thinking.
Finally Kyp presses the point, “ When will you attack, Master Skywalker?”
As the arguments proceed Kyp also shows that he believes in honestly expressing your beliefs. He even gives Jacen credit for being true to himself when he attempted to deny the force. Kyp’s demeanor throughout this meeting is one of anger and fury. He will not back down from his beliefs which he holds to be the only truths. Luke is fearful that these passionate feelings may cause Kyp, and any Jedi to fall to the Darkside.
“If we win the fight against the YV at the price of using Darkside powers it will be no victory.”
Kyp responds by rolling his eyes and crossing his arms. He states it was a mistake to attend the meeting and he had attended with hopes that Luke would be more decisive and willing to lead aggressively. But Luke is utterly convinced that Kyp’s stance is too close to the Darkside, and is it? I don’t think so. I honestly believe it is proactive defense.
He leaves the meeting and is followed out by Jaina and Anakin. Anakin is a huge admirer of Kyp. We see how the boy often takes the same stance of action over contemplation. Even Jaina pretty much believes the Jedi need to look out for their own and to use aggression may be necessary.
Kyp’s character arc bottoms out in the next novel, Edge of Victory : Rebirth. However it is interesting to note that Luke’s character is moving up his arc towards becoming aggressive. An arrest warrant was issued for Luke which caused him to flee Coruscant and go into hiding. He desires to speak with Kyp because now he wants to be more aggressive. As he tells Jaina, …”things are different now”.
This demonstrates Luke’s respect for Kyp and his desire to maintain Kyp as a member of the Jedi order. But why? What is Luke’s motivation? Does Luke want to actually listen to Kyp’s point of view or does he fear Kyp being persuasive enough to split the Order? Kyp has always had followers. He is an influential member and a Master in the Order. It is likely the latter reason, for Luke has placed a tracer on Kyp’s X-Wing and he tells Jaina, “Kyp worries me.”
Jaina heads out to Serpindal and locates Kyp and his group. What Jaina finds is the most uncharacteristically calm Kyp Durron ever. It almost makes you wonder, did he turn to the Darkside? He calmly hears why Jaina has come to find him and is bothered that Skywalker is running from arrest. He doesn’t express himself with any fury. All the while he talks to Jaina she keeps getting a funny feeling in her stomach. You wonder if he is mind influencing her. You never really know either.
Basically Kyp explains how he has been running recon over the past few months and how he believes the Vong have grown a super weapon capable of destroying star systems. He asks Jaina to use her military influence to get Antilles and Darklighter to use the squadrons and join with Kyp’s squadron to destroy the thing. He explains that , “what you saw over Serpindal was confidential, not something for crazy Kyp Durron to know. “ But he did see it because he had done a dangerous recon there using his extremely talented force skills to make hyperspace jumps into the system. Jaina agrees to help him and they find Wedge Antilles.
Kyp first flirts with Jaina in this novel…”Don’t worry, I prefer my friends uncooked. Especially my more attractive ones.”
Because Stackpole doesn't get it
Will someone tell me what it is with Stackpole and Kyp? Stackpole hates Kyp and writes him very differntly than other authors. His characterization was totally different than Salvatore's and set the stage for a lot of Kyp hating in the NJO. Stackpole appears to be like an ex-cop or military guy cause he seems to think Kyp should have been executed. He didn't even create sympathy for him in I, Jedi when he was a 16 year old former spice mining orphan (pre-darkside turn). Anyway the following is snippets of my view of Kyp in the Stackpole books Dark Tide. "As you wish it, my master" (p. 29) WHY is he talking like Vader (What is thy bidding my master?) "If we are to be blamed for anything I'd rather be blamed for being zealous in attacking the problem than timid in waiting for developments." Stackpole let's Luke ponder Kyp's words and fear that Kyp is on the edge ofthe dark side. He then reminds the reader that Kyp is the killer of billions which is ridiculous for he only killed millions (LOL...he's a mass murderer either way).
Early during the war Kyp enters the room, “his black cloak billowing behind him, he raised a gloved hand to gesture toward the auditorium where Jedi had gathered for what Kyp termed a “Council of War“. Kyp has thus been portrayed as pompous and flashy, and irritating to some, namely Corran and Mara. But stop to think for a moment. They didn’t like him when they first met him, however even after fourteen years they still dislike him to the point they joke about how to kill him with the Force. (How very Jedi of them). Why still hold a grudge, but they do. Kyp’s council solves little. He seems at least satisfied to hear the government will not be supporting the Jedi which leaves them able to choose their own course.
Kyp also demonstrates an odd demeanor with Luke. He constantly calls him Master to the point where he states, “I understand and obey, Master” Later he calls him the first among equals.
Kyp appears to have a following among Jedi who are about 5-10 years younger than him. Perhaps, at the time they were at Yavin they saw quite a bit of Kyp. Kyp likely flew in between missions and many stories to share. These teenage students must have felt inspired by his stories of adventure and action. It probably formed how they felt a Jedi should act. We see evidence of this in Wurth Skidder, Ganner, and Dar’sharacor. It is also noted that as many as two-thirds of the Jedi were on his side. Many were willing to act and not discuss. For this is the essence of Kyp Durron: he is a doer, not a thinker.
Characterization: Vector Prime
The following is my interpretation of the character of Kyp Durron. He is not simple, perhaps I understand him, perhaps I don't, but this is my blog and my opinion:
Kyp reappears at age 30 in Vector Prime. He’s a self proclaimed Avenger and fighter of piracy through out the universe (expect any less). He’s taken an apprentice who doesn’t seem to mind him and he has pilots who readily follow him. He irritates the other Jedi, but why? He at least tries to use his powers to help others. He lives his ideal: “what good is being a Jedi if we don’t act”?
As the Yuuzhan Vong war progresses we see the Jedi taking sides between action and contemplation. Kyp is into fighting them to preserve all he holds sacred. Luke is more cautious and both seem to have many supporters.
The problem most have with Kyp is that he doesn’t act like a Jedi should. He acts human. He is never suppose to use his powers for aggression; yet he does. He is proactive and preemptive. After all, he just wants to help people.
Kyp's squadron is decimated by the Yuuzhan Vong and his apprentice, Miko, dies shortly thereafter. Miko is the first Jedi to die at the hands of the Yuuzhan Vong. Everyone in the squadron dies except Kyp who is described as doing some particularly cool Force things to live (Force gripped on your X-wing as it spins end over end through space, creating some sort of safety bubble so you can hyperspace jump, fighting those disgusting grutchins).
Kyp is shown as a flashy kind of man who wants people to take notice. He dresses well, he lifts off to music, and he dreams of his squadron becoming famous. Salvatore's characterization set the stage for some serious Kyp hatred as the NJO kept going. Personally, I thought Kyp sounded cool. I tend to think he had it right. The Jedi needed to act and use their powers for good.
Reconciling Kyp
He would be an angry young man despite his return to the light. After all he had much to be angry about and anger was human. The Jedi ideal of not being angry would never be an easy edict to swallow. Anger was born to him from age 8 when any illusion of safety was taken. After his parents’ deaths and the hopelessness of Kessel what could possibly allow the boy to continue living? Someone had to have helped him or surely he would have died or been raped. The plausibility of someone taking him into their care and protection is worthwhile. Someone should have given him shelter and guidance.
Flash forward, Han shows up and rescues the boy. Kyp must have felt enormous relief only to have that dashed away in Daala’s prison. Facing execution, Kyp also must confront the reality that he is not invincible. There is also anger in himself because he can not access the force yet and save himself. He must feel like a child who can not protect himself. Vulnerable. But Han comes through again and for a few months Kyp only knows a happy life. This had to be emotionally overwhelming. He had not know carefree freedom in 8 years! And here is where Han and Luke dropped the ball! They needed to get Kyp some serious counseling. Just because he could have some fun didn’t mean all his troubles had ended!
So Kyp goes to Yavin and gets Gantoris’ old room! Smart move Master Skywalker! It takes all of one week for Exar Kun to entice Kyp to the dark side. Why does no one treat Kyp like he is a teenager? They seem to know how to treat Jaina like one in NJO. Maybe they had to learn from their mistakes. I would assume that Luke and/or Han were legal guardians for Kyp. I’m making the 18 is legal in the SW universe jump here.
Kyp’s anger leads him to his self-righteous romp to destroy the empire. It isn’t all dark side when you step back to exam it. Okay so declaring yourself “Dark Lord of the Sith”…Darkside. Force lightening Luke…Darkside. Tearing away Qui Xux’s memories…Darkside. BUT! Attacking Daala’s fleet…rebellion…hello! The Empire was not yet done and the Rebellion should have would have put Daala down if they were paying any attention. Well Kyppie did save Coruscant, but who’s counting!
Han saves Kyp AGAIN! (I think we are up to 3 saves so far). Kyp spends a little time in the NR prison in Coruscant before facing a trial which I am sure he thought would lead him to his execution. (he faces that AGAIN)….Luke takes him back to Yavin with all his generosity that Luke is famous for, but forgets to get the boy counseling (AGAIN)….Do these men ever learn?????
Well at least Luke took him back in and helped him as a Jedi. So here we go into fan fiction because this boy would need more than Skywalker could give especially after his injuries in destroying the Suncrusher.
So Kyp gets all better and is made a Jedi Knight. He romps around the galaxy with Dorsk 81 trying to find something useful to do. Finally he comes across Imperials and starts trouble. He’s absolute impetuousness. But he’s a good boy. We see that he’s a tough kid who goes up against just about anything fearlessly, but we also realize that early on Luke let his Jedi find their own missions. We find out later that comes back to haunt Luke as he tries to consolidate everyone to one mind in fighting the Vong. We last see Kyp a little desperate trying to forgive himself and get on with life. He does of course. He’s a natural born survivor.
Flash forward, Han shows up and rescues the boy. Kyp must have felt enormous relief only to have that dashed away in Daala’s prison. Facing execution, Kyp also must confront the reality that he is not invincible. There is also anger in himself because he can not access the force yet and save himself. He must feel like a child who can not protect himself. Vulnerable. But Han comes through again and for a few months Kyp only knows a happy life. This had to be emotionally overwhelming. He had not know carefree freedom in 8 years! And here is where Han and Luke dropped the ball! They needed to get Kyp some serious counseling. Just because he could have some fun didn’t mean all his troubles had ended!
So Kyp goes to Yavin and gets Gantoris’ old room! Smart move Master Skywalker! It takes all of one week for Exar Kun to entice Kyp to the dark side. Why does no one treat Kyp like he is a teenager? They seem to know how to treat Jaina like one in NJO. Maybe they had to learn from their mistakes. I would assume that Luke and/or Han were legal guardians for Kyp. I’m making the 18 is legal in the SW universe jump here.
Kyp’s anger leads him to his self-righteous romp to destroy the empire. It isn’t all dark side when you step back to exam it. Okay so declaring yourself “Dark Lord of the Sith”…Darkside. Force lightening Luke…Darkside. Tearing away Qui Xux’s memories…Darkside. BUT! Attacking Daala’s fleet…rebellion…hello! The Empire was not yet done and the Rebellion should have would have put Daala down if they were paying any attention. Well Kyppie did save Coruscant, but who’s counting!
Han saves Kyp AGAIN! (I think we are up to 3 saves so far). Kyp spends a little time in the NR prison in Coruscant before facing a trial which I am sure he thought would lead him to his execution. (he faces that AGAIN)….Luke takes him back to Yavin with all his generosity that Luke is famous for, but forgets to get the boy counseling (AGAIN)….Do these men ever learn?????
Well at least Luke took him back in and helped him as a Jedi. So here we go into fan fiction because this boy would need more than Skywalker could give especially after his injuries in destroying the Suncrusher.
So Kyp gets all better and is made a Jedi Knight. He romps around the galaxy with Dorsk 81 trying to find something useful to do. Finally he comes across Imperials and starts trouble. He’s absolute impetuousness. But he’s a good boy. We see that he’s a tough kid who goes up against just about anything fearlessly, but we also realize that early on Luke let his Jedi find their own missions. We find out later that comes back to haunt Luke as he tries to consolidate everyone to one mind in fighting the Vong. We last see Kyp a little desperate trying to forgive himself and get on with life. He does of course. He’s a natural born survivor.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Procrastination
I am posting rather than working. Listening to RHCP and looking outside at a gorgeous day I want to join. I am in work mode now so I have my daydreams on the backburner. I guess I am capable of that from time to time. I am relieved to know I can hop in and out of reality. I haven't written nor played with my story ideas today. That's okay, sometimes I think fresher ideas pop up when you give it a rest.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
The Darkside is Addiction
IMHO the Darkside can be compared to drug addiction. It is easy, and seductive and seems so good at the time, but then it slowly destroys you. Something that seems so good ends up producing bad consequences.
So thinking about the SW characters who have gone to the darkside I have created a real world analogy to their level of drug addiction.
Sideous is like Keith Richards. He's used all the drugs and it's made him look really bad, but it has never killed him.
Vader is like Kurt Cobain. He is a tragic man whose circumstances led him to use. As he used he fell in it more and more deeply. He has redeeming qualities, but it was too late in the end.
Luke is the classic dabbler. Not really an addict, just tried things so he'd gain a better understanding. Now he knows the dangers and will usually avoid it especially when he is feeling overly critical of himself. He's the kind of guy who quit the really bad drugs, but still drinks socially and smokes pot on occasion.
Mara used drugs (ie. the darkside) because she hung with the wrong crowd. Now that she's with Luke she follows his philosophy. She was never an addict, just abused it, and now she's over it.
Kyp is the teenaged drunk driver who killed the bus load of school children or derailed a train...massive injuries to many people...oh the guilt!
Zekk is my favorite because he's like the teen who used drugs and quit, but now 20 years later he still goes to NA and says, "Hi, I'm Zekk and I went to the darkside." He's the guy who will NEVER use anything ever again.
Jaina hit the bottle hard during a crisis, but she never really had a serious problem. She's over it now.
Jacen, well Jacen is quite simple: HE'S IN DENIAL !!!
So thinking about the SW characters who have gone to the darkside I have created a real world analogy to their level of drug addiction.
Sideous is like Keith Richards. He's used all the drugs and it's made him look really bad, but it has never killed him.
Vader is like Kurt Cobain. He is a tragic man whose circumstances led him to use. As he used he fell in it more and more deeply. He has redeeming qualities, but it was too late in the end.
Luke is the classic dabbler. Not really an addict, just tried things so he'd gain a better understanding. Now he knows the dangers and will usually avoid it especially when he is feeling overly critical of himself. He's the kind of guy who quit the really bad drugs, but still drinks socially and smokes pot on occasion.
Mara used drugs (ie. the darkside) because she hung with the wrong crowd. Now that she's with Luke she follows his philosophy. She was never an addict, just abused it, and now she's over it.
Kyp is the teenaged drunk driver who killed the bus load of school children or derailed a train...massive injuries to many people...oh the guilt!
Zekk is my favorite because he's like the teen who used drugs and quit, but now 20 years later he still goes to NA and says, "Hi, I'm Zekk and I went to the darkside." He's the guy who will NEVER use anything ever again.
Jaina hit the bottle hard during a crisis, but she never really had a serious problem. She's over it now.
Jacen, well Jacen is quite simple: HE'S IN DENIAL !!!
Friday, April 28, 2006
The Secret Truth of How I lost Weight
No one knows this, not even my secret diary.
I lost 40 pounds because of Star Wars. So I told you ROTS sort of freaked me out and gave me anxiety. I started watching a lot of movies and then I started to think about actresses, yes even Natalie Portman of course, and I thought, I want to be thin like an actress. So jumping on the lack of appetite that comes with anxiety I began to eat a lot less. I really just changed my mindset and ate less and liked food less and found things dispicable to eat etc..and lost weight.
Now, by Hollywood standards I am fat. I still need to loose 10-15 pounds, but I am a size 6 or 8 and I look pretty good. I still don't eat alot. I usually don't eat dinner. I think it is best to have the big meal in the middle of the day. I exercise some but not enough. I need to lift weights and build muscle, well maybe some other movie will lead me to that! LOL.
So that is how I lost weight folks! The secret is finally revealed.
I lost 40 pounds because of Star Wars. So I told you ROTS sort of freaked me out and gave me anxiety. I started watching a lot of movies and then I started to think about actresses, yes even Natalie Portman of course, and I thought, I want to be thin like an actress. So jumping on the lack of appetite that comes with anxiety I began to eat a lot less. I really just changed my mindset and ate less and liked food less and found things dispicable to eat etc..and lost weight.
Now, by Hollywood standards I am fat. I still need to loose 10-15 pounds, but I am a size 6 or 8 and I look pretty good. I still don't eat alot. I usually don't eat dinner. I think it is best to have the big meal in the middle of the day. I exercise some but not enough. I need to lift weights and build muscle, well maybe some other movie will lead me to that! LOL.
So that is how I lost weight folks! The secret is finally revealed.
My obsession
Okay, so here is the reason why I blog. I want to have a place to write about my obsession. The fan fictional "sensation" Kyp Durron. No I mean HE is not the obsession, but the themes and concepts he generates is something I enjoy.
I'm trying to think how it began. First there was ROTS. I saw it last July and just about freaked. I just loved it! I was like irrationally nervous afterwards and actually had an anxiety attack. Maybe I'll write more about this in another post, I'm just attempting background here. anyway...so then I finally ventured to force.net where I started to toy with the NJO...so I read Traitor. Which I loved (yet another different post opp.). So Traitor led me to the DNT.... Then back to other NJO books. Finally I am reading all about Kyp this...Kyp that...and I'm like "he went darkside?" I love anything and anyone darkside of course. So then I discovered JAT. Just about wet myself on that. I mean like one whole weekend eating those books. (and god they are so poorly written, but they are Kyp's story). Then back to NJO where I then started reading for Kyp. Around February I timidly ventured into reading fanfiction. I had no idea how alive Master Durron is in the fanfic world. Hell, what we can't have in profic we will claim for ourselves.
Anyway, that's where it is at. Well until I started writing Kyp. Now you have to understand I have never written. I wrote a 3 page kid story and a 10 page thing based on a dream. That's it! My mind of course is constantly in motion and creating stories. So now I have almost 150 pages of Kyp and his imaginary world. (which you can't see because I said so!!!!).
So that's my story of obsession. I am so not looking forward to the next set of books LOTF if they kill Kyp or relegate him to nothingness. He's a much larger character than that, but profic is out in space!
I'm trying to think how it began. First there was ROTS. I saw it last July and just about freaked. I just loved it! I was like irrationally nervous afterwards and actually had an anxiety attack. Maybe I'll write more about this in another post, I'm just attempting background here. anyway...so then I finally ventured to force.net where I started to toy with the NJO...so I read Traitor. Which I loved (yet another different post opp.). So Traitor led me to the DNT.... Then back to other NJO books. Finally I am reading all about Kyp this...Kyp that...and I'm like "he went darkside?" I love anything and anyone darkside of course. So then I discovered JAT. Just about wet myself on that. I mean like one whole weekend eating those books. (and god they are so poorly written, but they are Kyp's story). Then back to NJO where I then started reading for Kyp. Around February I timidly ventured into reading fanfiction. I had no idea how alive Master Durron is in the fanfic world. Hell, what we can't have in profic we will claim for ourselves.
Anyway, that's where it is at. Well until I started writing Kyp. Now you have to understand I have never written. I wrote a 3 page kid story and a 10 page thing based on a dream. That's it! My mind of course is constantly in motion and creating stories. So now I have almost 150 pages of Kyp and his imaginary world. (which you can't see because I said so!!!!).
So that's my story of obsession. I am so not looking forward to the next set of books LOTF if they kill Kyp or relegate him to nothingness. He's a much larger character than that, but profic is out in space!
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Current Mood: Sleepy
I am finally longing for sleep. I have not been able to sleep for more than 5 or 6 hours in months. At 10:30 now, I am thinking: bed. I am feeling relieved. Had a guy look at my roof, well sort of. At leas I initiatd that. More later...too tired.
Welcome
I have kept journals for 1,000 years, but never a public one. This, my first blog, is part of the new things I want to explore. A part of me doesn't mind if someone reads what I think, as long as they don't know who I am. So here it all begins.......
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